Ask the Akatsuki Anything
by Kazumi-chan124
Summary: Where you get to ask the Akatsuki any questions and also tell them what you always wanted. They will reply no matter what.
1. Starting Out

Hello Readers and fellow Akatsuki fans. This is a fanfic where you get to ask any of the Akatsuki any question you like and also give them opinions of what you think. They will reply even if they don't want to because I'm bribing them with beer and magazines lol. XD

Pein: Why the hell are we here again?

Kazumi: Because I'm paying you with beer and porn. -.-

Pein: Oh yeah…..Carry on. -.-

Kazumi: Can I join the Akatsuki?:3

Pein: Just as long as you don't go on a glomping spree. -.-

Kazumi: Yayz!! :D

Kazumi: Remember to send reviews with your questions and they will be in the fanfic and get answered.

Hidan: Hurry this fucking Author's Note up already, damn it!! Or Jashin-sama will smite you!!D:

Kazumi: **(shoots Hidan with a tranq)** Down boy, down!!

Hidan: X0X **(K.O.'D)**

Pein: Lmao. XD

Kazumi: **(shoots Pein as well)**

Pein: Night, night…..Zzzzzzz…..X0X

Kazumi: I'm soooooo evil. Buwhahaahaaaaa!!XD Let the torture begin!!:D


	2. CH1: Let the Torture Begin!

Kazumi: Yay!! Reviews!! :D

Akatsuki: Whoop dee doo…..-.-

Kazumi: Be nice dammit or feel my wrath with a newspaper or a bat!!

Akatsuki: O.O Yes ma'am.

Kazumi: Okay, here's the first review questions.

* * *

From Chiaki Kaname-

lol this is to all the Akatsuki members…

I know you all have a fetish (ie. Itachi-loves pocky!) what is your fetish or hobby? Itachi who is your secret crush?

* * *

Pein: My fetish is piercings.

Kazumi: Explains Konan's lower lip piercing. -.-

Konan & Pein: What was that?

Kazumi: Nothing. **(feigns innocence)**

Itachi: Who told you about my pocky fetish!? Was it Sasuke!? If it was, he's soooo dead!!

Kazumi: **(smacks Itachi on the head with a rolled up newspaper)** Bad weasel, bad!! You'll scare away the reviewers.

Itachi: Ow. **(goes into emo corner)**

Kazumi: **(rolls her eyes)**

Kisame: My hobby is chasing people around with my Samehada.

Kazumi: Like you tried to do earlier?

Kisame: Oh, yeah…I was wondering what I forgot to do.** (grins evilly)**

Kazumi: Oh shit!!** (runs for her life)**

Kisame: **(chases after her, laughing evilly)**

Deidara: Hmm….I'd say my hobby is very obvious, making my beautiful art and making them explode in everyone's faces, yeah. **(evil smile)**

Sasori: Mine is making puppets. Art is eternal.

Deidara: No, art is fleeting, un.

Sasori: Eternal.

Deidara: Fleeting, un!!

Sasori: Eternal.

Deidara: Fleeting, un!!

**(Sasori and Deidara get into a shouting fight that also includes throwing random items, including chickens and Ronald McDonald)**

Kazumi: **(extends nails and turns on Kisame while grinning evilly)** Sushi.

Kisame: **(stops)** O.O** (runs and hides in a closet)**

Hidan: My hobby is fucking killing everyone for Jashin-sama.

Kakuzu & Kazumi: Like always. **(roll their eyes)**

Hidan: Fuck you grrr. .

Kazumi: What's yours Kakuzu?

Kakuzu: Counting money of course.

Kazumi: Of course. **(sarcasm)**

Kakuzu: Hmm?

Kazumi: Nothing. **(throws a wad of cash)** Fetch Godzilla!! ( Godzilla is my nickname for Kakuzu)

Kakuzu: **(runs after the money)**

Zetsu White Half: Our hobby is gardening We guess.

Zetsu Black Half: Don't forget eating people.** (evil grin)**

Zetsu WH: We didn't. **(evil grin as well)**

Kazumi: **(sweat drops)**

Tobi: Tobi's hobby is hanging out with Deidara Senpai. Tobi's a Good boy!! **(runs around in circles)**

Kazumi: Yes, Tobi is a good boy. **(glomps Tobi)**

Tobi:** (glomped and hugs back)** Yay, Tobi's loved!!

Itachi: I currently do not like anyone at the moment. **(still in the emo corner)**

Kazumi mumbles: What about Kisame?

Itachi: What?

Kazumi: Nothing!! **(sweat drops)**

Kazumi: Onto the next review!!

* * *

From Better Man-

Tobi

Quit being so nice!

Hidan

Do you swear alot?

* * *

Tobi: Aw, but Tobi's a good boy!! **(sniffles)**

Kazumi: Aw, it'll be okay Tobi. **(pats him on the back)**

Tobi: Thank you Kazumi Senpai. **(smiles behind his mask brightly)**

Hidan: Fuck , so what if I fucking do?

Kazumi: In other words….A big yes.

Hidan: Fuck off Kazumi.

Kazumi: Shut up Hidan, I know you love me. **(evil grin)**

Hidan: Fucking whatever….** (huffs)**

Kazumi: Next review please. **(smiles)**

* * *

From Ada Ikito:

Akatsuki

Most likely to remain quiet

Favorite jutsus you know end in diaster?

Tried a new jutsu and failed using it?

Ever been turned into a chibi

(whacks hidan with a flaming broom)

Ever been caught in a bad situation?

* * *

Akatsuki: Itachi(Me)

**(Deidara and Sasori finish fighting, both covered in whip cream and feathers)**

Kazumi: Finally!!

Deidara: My favorite jutsu that ends mostly in disaster is the C4 Garuda.

Sasori: I don't have a favorite. I appreciate all my jutsus.

Hidan: My favorite is my curse, but it doesn't end in disaster for me though. **(sadistic grin)**

Kazumi: I remember you tried to do that to me yesterday, failed because I'm immortal as well.

Hidan: Hey, I was fucking desperate for a sacrifice. I was going to be late on my fucking sacrifices.

Kazumi: Sure…. **(rolls eyes)**

Kakuzu: What I favor is classified.

Kisame: I don't recall. **(shrugs) (is out of closet)**

Itachi: My Mangekyo Sharingan.** (comes out of emo corner)**

Pein: I'm not telling you. I don't have to answer to anyone.

Kazumi: **(comes up behind Pein with a bat)**

Pein: Except her. **(hides behind Konan)**

Konan: **(sighs)**

Tobi: Tobi likes his ability to become translucent and he can walk through walls. But it's a big oopsy if Tobi accidentally forgets to do it and walks face first into a wall.

Zetsu BH & WH: Don't pick favorites.

Akatsuki: You have no idea how many new jutsus we try and fail. **(all sweat drop)**

Akatsuki: Yes, we have been turned into chibis before, mostly by her. **(all point at Kazumi)**

Kazumi: **(sweat drops and gives an embarrassed grin)**

Kazumi: You can stop pointing now.** (pulls out bat)**

Akatsuki: O.O **(quickly stop)**

Hidan: **(gets hit with a flaming broom)** Ow!! What the fuck!? I'm gonna fucking get you for that!! **(stalks Ada with scythe)**

Kazumi: Bad Hidan, no stalking reviewers!! **(smacks him on the head with newspaper)**

Hidan: Fine, Jashin dammit… **(sits down cross legged with arms folded over chest and face with a scowl)**

Kazumi: And yes reviewers. Hidan does stalk reviewers so beware. Oh and the other members may stalk as well, depending on their moods. -.-

Hidan: Hmph.

Kazumi:** (turns to Kakuzu)** How do you deal with him?

Kakuzu: Punching bag therapy. -.-

Kazumi: So you use Hidan as a punching bag?

Kakuzu: Exactly. -.-

Akatsuki( Except For Tobi): Bad situation? When Tobi was on a hyper spaz from having sugar and we were all stuck in the same room.

Kazumi: Yeah, I was there. It was like Hell had broke loose!! **(shudders from remembering)**

Kakuzu: **(arches a brow)**

Kazumi: **(jumps onto Kakuzu and clings)** Make the horrorable memories go away!!

Kakuzu: Gah!! **(falls over)**

Kazumi: **(still clinging to him)**

Kazumi: N-N-Next review p-p-please!!

* * *

From DingDong NutCase-

Tobi

Funniest thing you seen?

Who would you love to see die?

(hands Tobi cookies)

You're crazy for being so nice!

Akatsuki

Please kill Team Gai!

* * *

Tobi: The funniest thing Tobi has ever seen is Deidara Senpai in the morning. He has really funny bed hair, it sticks out in an afro!! Lol!!

Deidara: Why you little punk, un!! **(makes a clay bird bomb)**

Kazumi: **(no longer clinging to Kakuzu, to Kakuzu's relief) (smacks Deidara on the head with** **newspaper)** No hurting the other members! Only I can do that! **(evil grin)**

Deidara: Ow…. **(shudders at the grin)**

Rest of the Akatsuki ( Except Kazumi and Tobi): **(shudder as well)**

Tobi: Tobi doesn't want to see anyone dead! Tobi's a good boy! He could never want a thing like that!

Kazumi: Good boy Tobi! **(hugs Tobi)**

Tobi: Yay! **(hugs back)**

Tobi: Yay!! Cookies!!

Kazumi: Aw, see, Tobi gets cookies for being a good boy. You all should learn from him. **(looks at the other members with a scowl)**

Tobi: Thank you Kazumi Senpai. **(gives her a cookie)**

Kazumi: No problem Tobi and thanks for the cookie.

Tobi & Kazumi: **(both began nibbling on cookies, Tobi lifting his mask to make that possible but only enough to show his mouth)**

Akatsuki: On the killing Team Gai? Will do!! **(Kisame shouts will do, grinning evilly)**

Kazumi: Mhmph Mph mmm. ( Next review please!)

* * *

From Akari Makari-

deidara

Is it true steal stuff from Itachi's room?

Is it true that you once used his underwear as a flag?

Most annoying person?

Why did you join the Akatsuki?

Itachi

Was it hard for you to make the choice to become a spy in your own family?

How did you meet the Akatsuki?

Why did you join them?

(sets Pein on fire while is isn't looking)

* * *

Deidara: I don't steal from his room, un. **(shifty eyes) (quickly hides Itachi's teddy bear Sir Snuggles the Third)**

The underwear thing is true though, yeah. It was funny as Hell!! Got my ass roasted but it was worth it in the end, hmm!!

The most annoying person is obviously Tobi, yeah.

Why'd I join? So I can become more powerful than Itachi and kick his ass of course, yeah!!

Itachi: **(rolls eyes)**

The choice to become a spy was very hard at times.

I don't want to say how I met them, it's a long story.

I joined for the awesome nail paint and of course the doughnuts!!

Pein: **(flames die out instantly, not a single burn)** Ha! My evilnessness makes me fire proof!

Kazumi mumbles: And retarded.

Pein: What?

Kazumi: Nothing!** (hides behind Kakuzu)**

Kakuzu: **(sweat drops)** Why do you always come to me?

Kazumi: Because I like you, duh!

Kakuzu: **(sweat drops again, blushing slightly)**

Kazumi: Next review!!

* * *

From Akira Phoenix & Hikami Haruda-

Akira: Hello Tobi.

Akira waves.

Hikami: Well hello hot men well..maybe except Kisame. He looks like my supper.

Akira: Did you have to be so mean to him?

Hikami: You are not even a fan of is. You so want Deidara.

Akira: Whatever. Itachi is hotter. He's hotter than Iruka Sensei.

From the school, Iruka sneezes and swears that someone is talking about him

Hikami: What? No way

The two girls get into a slap fest as the Akatsuki eat popcorn. After 5 minutes, Hikami has a black eye.

Akira: I won and now...

Akira glomps Itachi.

Akira: You got more fangirls than Sasuke Itachi. How does that feel? Scariest fan girl experience?

Hikami: Deidara..how many times did someone call you Die Dara? Favorite justu to use.

Akira: Pein..you suck!

* * *

Tobi: Hiya Akira Senpai!!9waves back excitedly0

Akatsuki(except Kisame who has a vain popping out on his temple): Hello Hikami. **(all smiling** **at the hot men part)**

Kisame: I'm not supper. **(runs of crying)**

Kazumi: Oh great, Jaws is now crying. Geesh, people are so mean.

Deidara: Itachi is not hotter than me, hmm!!

Akatsuki: **(all watching the slap fest while eating popcorn, Tobi and Kazumi cheering)**

Zetsu WH: Damn, Akira won.

Zetsu BH: Ha, you owe me 300 yen.

Zetsu WH: **(sighs)** A bet is a bet. **(hands black half money)**

Kakuzu: Money!

Kazumi: **(throws a wad of cash)** Fetch again Godzilla!!

Kakuzu: **(follows it)**

Kazumi: **(jumps onto his back while he's turned around)** Mush Godzilla!!

Kakuzu: Off!

Kazumi: I'll pay you and give you a kiss.

Kakuzu: Deal! **(runs giving Kazumi a piggy back)**

Hidan: Fucking typical, he always does things for fucking money.

Itachi: **(glomped)** Ah! Run away! Fangirl!** (runs around in circles with Akira clinging to him)**

**(after five minutes of running he gives up and just stands there letting her hug him)** -/.\-

Okay, I feel happy knowing that I have more fangirls than Sasuke, he lacks hatred so I deserve more.

My scariest fangirl experience was when I was dared to go to a anime convention. I was nearly mauled to death by crazed fangirls! **(shudders goes to emo corner, rocking back and forth)**

Akatsuki(Except Itachi of course and Tobi who is a Good boy): **(sweat drops)**

Deidara: Yeah, someone has called me Die Dara before, hmm. Blew them up for it though, un. **(smiles at the memory)** True art, yeah.

Sasori: Eternal is better brat.

Deidara: Fleeting Danna, un!!

Kazumi: No art fighting again!!** (shoots Deidara with a tranq and knocks Sasori out with a bat since he's a puppet and doesn't have flesh)**

Down boys, down!!

Sasori & Deidara: **(K.O.'D)** X0X

Hidan: Ha!

Kazumi: **(gives Tobi candy)**

Tobi: **(eats candy and gets hyper)**

Kazumi:** (throws Hidan into the closet and gently pushes Tobi in and locks them in)**

Hidan: NOOOO!!

Kakuzu: Where's my money and kiss?

Kazumi: **(gives Kakuzu a bag full of money and kisses him on the cheek)**

Kakuzu: Much better. **(laughs as he hears Hidan banging on the door of the closet)**

Pein: I don't suck! Why does everyone hate me? **(sits in emo corner with Itachi)**

Konan & Kazumi: Aw, poor Pein. **(both give him hugs)**

Kazumi: Aw crap, no more reviews! Oh well, just have to wait.

**(lets Hidan out of the closet and Tobi as well who is no longer hyper)**

Hidan: **(goes to emo corner and starts rocking back and forth, eyes wide from shock)** **(mutters over and over):** I promise to be good Jashin-sama, and sacrifice more every day.

Kakuzu: Nice job on freaking Hidan out.

Kazumi: Thanks. **(glomps Kakuzu)**

My Godzilla!!

Kakuzu: Argh!! **(falls over)**

Tobi: Tobi's a good boy!!

Kazumi: See you next chapter when I have more reviews!!

Akatsuki (Except Tobi and Kazumi): No, not another chapter!!

Tobi & Kazumi: **(laugh evilly, lightening in the background, thunder booming)**

Akatsuki(Except Tobi and Kazumi of course): **(shudders)**

* * *

To be continued…………….

I do not own any of the Akatsuki or any Naruto characters that may be dragged into this, they all belong to Kishimoto.

The hostess is me, I go by the name Kazumi.

More questions please. The Akatsuki haven't been tortured enough by your questions!! We need more!! More torture!! Buwhahahaahaaaa!!


	3. CH2: Killer Bunnies and Kittens

* * *

Kazumi: Yay!! More reviews meaning more torture!!

Akatsuki( Except Tobi and Kazumi): **(sweat drop)**

Kazumi: Here's the first review for this chapter!!

* * *

From Sharem:

Hello!

(glomps Tobi) Tobi is so adorable! Anyway, what do you do for fun Tobi?

Konan, how does it feel to be the only female Akatsuki member? Have any juicy gossip on Pein, Itachi, and Hidan?

Oh yeah, Hidan, why do you wear your cloak open? Personally, I don't mind because I like ogling your chest…and why do you curse so much?

* * *

Tobi: **(glomped)** Yay!! Tobi's loved!! Tobi's a good boy!!

What Tobi does for fun is follow Deidara Senpai and watch his pretty bombs. **(glomps Deidara)**

Deidara: Get off me you baka, un!! **( pushes Tobi off)**

Tobi: Aw, fine, Tobi will be a good boy and stop glomping Deidara Senpai. **( walks away obediently and sits down)**

Kazumi: Weird….e.o

Konan: Well, I used to be the only female, till Kazumi came along.

But before, it was kind of lonely, I guess.

Oh, and gossip? I have loads!! You wouldn't believe half the stuff I've seen and heard!!

Itachi has a teddy bear!! Hidan has a stuffed bunny!! Pein has a raggedy Anne doll!! **(falls over laughing)**

Itachi & Hidan & Pein: Nooooo!! Our secret weaknesses!!

Kazumi: **(falls over laughing)**

**(smacks them all on the head with newspaper)** Calm down retards, Hidan has to answer the next questions!

Hidan: Hmph….

I wear my fucking cloak open to show off my sexiness.** (grins)**

Nice to know someone fucking appreciates it!

I curse because that's just how I am dammit!!

Kazumi: Potty mouth needs his mouth rinsed!

**(tackles Hidan and forcibly rinses his mouth with soap)**

Hidan: **(spits out the soap)** Gah!! That tastes fucking nasty!! **(gags)**

Kazumi: Next review!!

* * *

From BrokenHearted-Ninja:

(gives Tobi a GIANT cookie) Tobi is a good boy!! -

(Kisame) is it true your mom is Jaws?O.o My friend Zekarin says so!!(points at Zekarin) And is it true that you have an Itachi plushie collection under your bed!? (Grabds a itachi plushie under Kisame's bed)

I agree with (Deidara), art is Fleeting!! Deidara whats your favorite food? (hugs him then lets go)

(Sasori) how did it feel to be defeated by Sakura and grandma chiyo?

(Itachi) if you ever want to seriously kill Sasuke call me and me and my giant sword will help…(laughs evilly) i hate sasuke. Would you ever post pictures of sasuke in a pink bath robe and having a fight with a bar of soap around Konoha? (gives pictures to kazumi) Karin gave them to me..(eye twitch)

(Konan) how does it feel being the only female member of Akatsuki..not counting Kazumi.

(hits Hidan over the head) …i don't like you…and don't try anything(waves sword around)

* * *

Tobi: Yay!! Cookie!! **(hugs the giant cookie and clings to it)**

Cookie: **(rolls around, Tobi still clinging)**

Kisame: No, my mom isn't Jaws!! **( glares at Zekarin)**

Kazumi: No glaring at reviewers!! **(smacks him on the head with newspaper)**

Kisame: Ow, fine! **(sighs angrily)**

Who said I have Itachi plushies!?

That's not mine!! **(sweat drops) **

**(burns all the Itachi plushies)** Ha! No more proof!!

Kazumi:** (rolls eyes)**

Akatsuki(except Kisame): **(sweat drops)**

Deidara: See!! Someone who agrees with me, un!! **(hugs back)** Yay, a believer, un!

Oh, I don't know what my favorite food is, I never bothered considering it.

Sasori: **(rolls eyes)**

I'm pissed that I got defeated by some little bratty bitch with pink hair and my own grandma… **(glares at Deidara who snickered)**

Itachi: I like your thinking Broken, I'll call when needed. **(laughs evilly at the idea of killing Sasuke)**

Kazumi: Ah ha!! These pictures!! **(falls over laughing)**

Itachi: Let me see. **(looks at the pictures in her hands)**

**(smirks)** We are soo going to post these around Konoha.

Kazumi: Totally! Thanks Broken! I hate Sasuke too!

Konan: It's awkward being the only female, at least Kazumi came along. Now I have a shopping partner.

Kazumi: Yay shopping!

Hidan: **(hit)** Ow!! Fucker!!** (lunges at Broken with scythe)**

Kazumi: **(quickly puts a leash on Hidan that is connected to the wall and only goes 3 feet, preventing him from lunging at Broken) **

No attacking reviewers!!

Hidan: Grr!! Let me fucking at em'!!

Kazumi: **(tranqs Hidan)** Down, Jashinist, down!!

Hidan: **(K.O.'D)** -.- Zzzzz….fuck….zzzzz….

Kazumi: Going onto the next review!

* * *

From shampoochan:

Sasori with much fighting dei chan

Are those who truly love each other fight? :3

I'm sorry to speak Spanish

* * *

Sasori & Deidara: I do not love him(un)!!

Kazumi: Don't lie, we all know you two do. **(smiles)**

Sasori & Deidara: **(glare at Kazumi)**

Kazumi: **(sweat drops) **

Akatsuki: We forgive your English.

Kazumi: Yeah, no ones perfect.

**(looks at Kakuzu)**

Kakuzu: Uh oh… **(sweat drops)**

Kazumi: **(glomps Kakuzu)** My Godzilla!!

Kakuzu: Not again!! **(falls over)**

Kazumi: Continuing to the next review!!

* * *

From no-0-yo biznes:

Tobi-Favorite!! YAY TOBI! -gives Tobi chocolate- YAY!

Itachi: How does it make you feel to know that Sasuke goes off to Oreo-chan(Orochimaru)? How does it make you feel to know that your little brother is being hit on by an animated Michael Jackson?!(my friend thought of that:)...)

Deidara:... are you a guy, or a girl?

Konan:Favorite!!-hands Konan chocolate-

Pein:... to be honest, you suck. Sorry... wait, no, I'm not.;p

Kisame:If you ate fish, wouldn't that make you half canable?

Sasori & Deidara:I like art too, but I paint... if I paint with blood(I've only painted with red paint... so far), would it be fleeting, scince the person would probably be dead, or forever, because I painted with it?

Yay Kazumi! I'd favorite you and your story, but I must remain anonomous... ja ne!(good bye!)

* * *

Tobi: **(just got done eating giant cookie)** Yay! Chocolate! Tobi feels so loved!! **(starts nibbling on the chocolate)**

Itachi: Sasuke was foolish to join Orochimaru. And the fact he's being hit on by Orochimaru makes me feel pity for him. I have nightmares about it.** (eye twitches from memory)**

Deidara: I'm a guy, un!! Why does this always happen to me, hmm!?

Konan: Yay! Chocolate!! **(turns chibi and nibbles on chocolate)**

Pein: I do not suck!! I can pwn all of yo asses with my evilnessness!! **(flashing lightening and booming thunder)**

Kazumi: Drama much? **(still clinging to Kakuzu)**

Kakuzu: I feel loved but uncomfortable at the same time. **(sweat drops)**

Sasori & Deidara: That's new, painting with blood….We guess it would be kind of both.

Kazumi: Yay, someone wanted to favorite this story, too bad they wanted to stay anonymous. **(sniffles)**

Kakuzu: Can you get off me now?

Kazumi: Never!! I love you Kakuzu!! You are my Godzilla! **(clings tighter)**

Kakuzu: Gah, too much love!! **(sweat drops and face turns red with blush at love)**

Kazumi: Next review people!!

* * *

From Kasaka Masido:

Deidara

Hi Daria

Kisame(sends a killer rabbit and the rabbit bites his head) (watches Kisame try and get the crazy rabbit off while the Akatsuki were watching this)

Itachi

Worse pick up line you heard from a fan girl?By the way, Deidara stole your clothes that you were wearing. Nice boxers

* * *

Kisame: Gah!! Bad bunny!! Bad!! **(trying to beat bunny off)**

Akatsuki: Go Kisame, go!!** (watching while eating popcorn)**

Itachi: Oh well. **(takes a sexy pose)** I'm super hot so I don't care.

All pick up lines suck.

Kazumi: **(rolls eyes)**

**(tranqs bunny and sells it to a zoo)**

**(gives the money to Kakuzu)**

Kakuzu: Yay! Money! Thank you! **(pats Kazumi on the head)**

Kazumi: No prob. I'm giving my money to you from now on. **(smiles as patted)**

Kakuzu: Really!? **(arches a brow)**

Kazumi: Yep.

Kakuzu: My Neko!! **(glomps Kazumi and clings top her)**

Kazumi: AHH!! **(falls over)**

**(huff)** Next**(huff)** review!! **(huff)**

Off Kakuzu!! Can't**(huff)** breathe!! **(huff)**

From Akatoro Mitsaiya:

(runs her nail on a chalkboard to torture the Akatsuki)

Akatsuki

Most annoying song?

Tobi

I dare you to sing some Britney Spears in front of Hidan.

KabutoWell about time you get dragged in here. Is it true that the Akatsuki brainwashed you to spy on Orochimaru until Orochimaru broke the jutsu?Did you believe everything Orochimaru told you?How did it feel to face Tsunade?

* * *

Akatsuki: Ahh!! **(all cover their ears)**

Kazumi: Ok, it stopped..

Akatsuki: **(all sigh in relief)**

We say that most annoying song would be Cuppycake song.

Tobi: Ok, Tobi will sing Brittany Spears for Hidan Senpai.

Hidan: Nooo!! **(covers his ears)**

**(Tobi sings to Hidan who gnaws at his leash but soon goes into a comma from the horrid singing)**

**(Kabuto was dragged into the room by Kazumi)**

Kabuto: Let me go!! Lord Orochimaru needs me!

Kazumi: Shut up and answer the question!! **(demonic aurora)**

Kabuto: **(gulps)** O-Ok…

Yes, Sasori did brainwash me to spy on Lord Orochimaru. Thankfully he broke it.

Some things I didn't believe but I mostly trust Lord Orochimaru.

It was quit scary yet intriguing to fight Tsunade.

Kazumi: Ok, you're done answering questions.

**(punts Kabuto back to Orochimaru's little emo farm)** See ya jackass!!

**(Kabuto is kicked all the way home screaming like a little girl)**

Akatsuki(Except Hidan who is in a comma): Lmao!!

Kazumi: You can stop clinging to me now Kakuzu. **(face is red)**

Kakuzu: But you're my money ticket!! **(clings tighter)**

Kazumi: Well good for you but I need bubble space. **(escapes Kakuzu's hold and hides behind Tobi)**

Next review please!!

* * *

From Akira Phoenix & Hikami Haruda:

Akira hugs Itachi when she comes in.

Akira: Ever did something funny without knowing it Itachi.

Hikami shows up and buries Kisame in sushi and gets an evil look.

Hikami: Here kitty kitty!

A bunch of kitties show up and eat the fish and try to eat Kisame in the process.

Hikami: Is Kisame actually a shark?

Akira: I don't know.

Iruka showed up.

Iruka: Who was talking about me?

Hikami: She did.

Iruka looks to Akira.

Akira: I did?

Hikami: You said that he was not hotter than Itachi?

Iruka: Wh--WHAT?!

Akira chuckles but is soon paying the price as Iruka tackles her and Itachi down.

Iruka: I think we need to have a talk.

Iruka grabs her.

Akira: No. Don't do this.

Iruka: I will.

Akira: Are you even Iruka? You don't sound like him?

Iruka: Wh-I'm Iruka!

Akira: You are.

Iruka: Am not. I'm Naruto. Oh darn it!

The real Iruka shows up and Akira hugs him.

Akira: Okay, I didn't mean it. Both you and Itachi are hot.

Poor Iruka doesn't know what to do as Ebisu makes fun of the scene while Pein sings "Iruka and Akira sittin in a tree" in Itachi's ear.

Akira: Hmm..who to ask next?

Hikami: Kisame..are you a catfish? (laughs at the cats attacking him)

Akira: Well since Iruka sensei is here, what do you think of the Akatsuki and Kabuto?

* * *

Itachi: **(hugged and eye twitches)** Omg!! They're back!

At least Akira didn't glomp me. **(sweat drops)**

I guess it would be wearing a scrunchy once, I ran out of ties so I borrowed one of Kazumi's scrunchies.

Kisame: Ahh!! Back off kitties!!

Kazumi: Yay!! Fish!! **(is a Neko)**

**(joins kittens in eating fish)**

Kisame: I am not a shark!!

Itachi: Argh!! **(tackled) (pushes fake Iruka off)**

Pein: Iruka and Akira sittin in a tree!! **(singing loudly right in Itachi's ear)**

Itachi: Ow. **( eye twitches)** Oh great, now I'm going to go deaf and blind!!

**(goes to emo corner)**

Kisame: I'm not a catfish either!! I'm human!! I just look like that because it's apart of my kekai genkai!

**(still battling kittens off and Kazumi as well)**

Kazumi: **(stops trying to eat Kisame and clings to Kakuzu)** My Godzilla!!

Kakuzu: **(clings back)** My money ticket Neko!!

Rest of the Akatsuki(Except Tobi and Kisame, whom is still fighting for his life and Hidan who is still in a comma): **(sweat drops)**

Iruka(who has been dragged into this by Akira): I think the Akatsuki and Kabuto should be all stopped immediately.

Kazumi: Too bad goody two shoes. **(teleports Iruka back home)** Oh wait, I forgot that my teleportation jutsu has a side affect. **(sweat drops)**

**(Iruka appears back in Konoha, perfectly fine but now in a frilly pink tutu, " Holy crap!!" He screams)**

Kazumi: Next review already!!

* * *

From Sonar:

Itachi

(gives Itachi an apple)

Who would you want to face in a fight (besides your brother) and why?Did you ever get even with Deidara for stealing your stuff while you are not looking?

Iruka

(gives Iruka a friendly hug and some flowers)

How are you Iruka?

You know what is weird? I actually had a pretty strange dream about you a few days ago. (blushes)What's your age again?

Deidara

What's your favorite animal?

Favorite color?

Worse song you heard that you annoyed that Akatsuki with?

Tobi

Did you do something bad that you thought the Akatsuki would find nice of you to do?Did you ever accidently bleach the uniforms?

* * *

Itachi: **(eats the apple)** Thanks for the apple.

The only other person I'd want to fight is Kakashi to see if his own Sharingan would be a match for mine. But I'd say I'd win against him though

**(meanwhile in Konoha, Kakashi sneezes. " Someone must be talking about me," Kakashi mutters, continuing to read his book)**

Yes, I used my Ameratsu on him and roasted his little mangirl ass. **(evil smirk at the glare from Deidara)**

Kazumi: **(teleports Iruka back here to answer questions, he's still in a tutu)**

Iruka: Can I get this off?

Kazumi: No, you must suffer good two shoes!!

Iruka: Crud…

Kazumi: Answer now.

Iruka: **(hugged and given flowers)** Um, thanks.

Uh, I'm fine. Thank you for asking.

Um, I'm 25. Why?

Kazumi: Questioning back. You can go home now. **(teleports Iruka back to Konoha, still in tutu)**

**(Iruka is back home and Kakashi walks by and sees Iruka in the tutu and takes pictures to sell on eBay)**

Deidara: Dang, I should of took pictures of that, un.

My favorite animal is the eagle.

I don't have a favorite color.

The Barbie Girl Song I used to annoy Danna and everyone, but mostly Danna, un.

Sasori: **(smacks Deidara on the head)** Brat, you still owe me for that.

Deidara: **(grimaces)** Sorry Danna, un.

Tobi: Uh, Tobi doesn't remember. Tobi never did anything bad.

Yes, Tobi did bleach the cloaks once by accident. Deidara Senpai tried to blow me up.

Deidara: Because the freaking cloaks turned gray with pink clouds you baka, hmm!!

Tobi: I'm sorry Deidara Senpai. **(bows head)**

Deidara: Whatever…hmm…

Kazumi: Well, next review then.

* * *

From Kaida Tudel:

KisameI dare you to sing "Get Stoned" by hinder

KidomaruI dare you to rape Konan

* * *

Kisame: Why would I sing that?

Kazumi: Just do it.

Kisame: Never!! **(hides in closet)**

Kidomaru: **(appears)** No!! **(disappears)**

Kazumi: Weird. -.-

Next review!!

* * *

From Ignotus Susurrus:

Hello Akatsuki! And how are we today?

(sticks out tongue at Diedara) art is eternal. I agree with Sasori-sama

Akatsuki,Does anyone enjpy writing poetry in the Akatsuki?

Zetsu,Have you ever tried to eat one of your fellow Akatsuki members... excluding Kisame, of course. We all know you've tried to eat him because of his fishyness.

How do you put shirts on?

Why do you always hang around with Tobi almost wilingly? Wait... do you?

(Throws money across the room)

(pats tobi on the head)

Konan, how does it feel to turn into paper in a city that always rains?

* * *

Deidara: Fleeting, un!!

Sasori: Give it up brat. -.-

Akatsuki: None. -.-

Zetsu & WH: Yes, we have tried to eat Deidara once, but his hair got in the way.

Shirts….Very carefully.

We have no choice but to hang out with Tobi. He follows us no matter what.

Kazumi: Where were you?!

Zetsu WH: Eating….

Kazumi: Another person pet dog?

Zetsu BH: Yep.

Kazumi: Bakas. -.-

Kakuzu: Money!! **(runs around catching the money)**

Tobi: **(patted on the head)** Yay, Tobi's loved!! Tobi is a good boy!!

Konan: It's uncomfortable because I kind of get damp. -.-

Kazumi: Next!!

* * *

From Bunny the killer of Egos':

Firstly, I find any of you with in attacking distance of my house will be able castrated with a rusty spoon. . . you may only come if you want a hug. Secondly, Pein and Itachi, STOP GROWING MUSHROOM's IN OTHER PEOPLE'S CORNERS'!-clears throat, and adjust glasses-

To hidan- Hidan, seriously... you can not cuss to save Jashin's immortal soul. You do not put any bloody feeling into it!!

To Sasori- Art is fleeting! Not eternal! If it becomes eternal it becomes boring and loses it's beauty.

(get's knocked to the side by friend Jessica)

Jessica- You -BEEPING- -BEEPS!- You killed Gaara! I ki-(Gets hit by tranquilizer))

Me- Sorry Kazumi-chan, she's still mad at them for attempting to kill Panda-chan...Anyway.

to pein- ... STOP HARASSING KONAN! SHE KICKS ASS!

to tobi- You are perfection! (huggles tobi)

to itachi- (appears infront of him) you get the choice of wearing either a weasel suit or answering why in bloody hell you look like a girl. (says before pulling out strawberry pocky)

to zetsus'- OREO!

to fishy- ( make whipping noise with motion) Seriously, what in bloody hell is wrong with you?

to kakuzu- (points at hidan) He has two hundred bucks on him.

to konan- How do you put up with them?

to deidara- Come join me with chemistry! I need someone that understands explosions like you! My teacher has no bloody feelings!

done...

P.s. Mr.Weasel-Chan, I have lost all respect for you. you could've made a perfect SasuNaru moment and you didn't seize the chance!

* * *

Akatsuki: We'd like to see you try.

Itachi & Pein: NEVER!!

Hidan: **(comes out of comma)** Fuck you!! Jashin -sama will fucking smite you!! I'll grind you into dust and fucking eat it whole!! RARGH!! **(starts foaming at mouth)**

Kazumi: **(tranqs Hidan)** Down boy!!

Hidan: Fuck!! **(K.O.'D)** DX

Sasori: What do you know about art? Nothing!! **(covers ears)** La la la la la!! Can't hear you!!

Deidara: Ha, un!!

Kazumi: I was upset too but thankfully Gaara is still alive. It's ok, tranquilizing is fun. .

Pein: I do not harass her!! Hmph!! **(goes to emo corner)**

Kazumi mumbles: I really need to get rid of that emo corner….

Tobi: Yay, Tobi feels sooo loved!! **(hugs back)**

Itachi: I was born that way, happy now?! **(snatches pocky and runs an hides behind the couch eating the pocky)**

Kazumi: Baka…-.-

Zetsu BH & WH: Not an Oreo!!

Kisame: What the bloody hell is wrong with me?! What the hell is wrong with you!?

Kakuzu: Mine!! **(tackles Hidan's unconscious body and takes the money)**

Kazumi: God, geesh, why not just maul him. -.-

Kakuzu: Eh….Sorry? **(glomps Kazumi)** Don't hurt me!!

Kazumi: Gah!! **(falls over)**

Konan: I wear ear plugs and carry a bat around, so does Kazumi.

Deidara: Sure!! Blowing stuff up is fun, un!!

Itachi: Well who needs your respect anyway. **(sniffles, goes to emo corner)**

Kazumi: Wimp..-.-

**(pushes Kakuzu off)**

We are out reviews now, see you next chapter!!

Akatsuki(Except Tobi): **(groans)**

Tobi & Kazumi: Yay!!

Kakuzu: **(tackles Kazumi)** My money Neko!!

Kazumi: Ah!! **(pulls free and runs)**

Kakuzu: **(chases)**

Rest of the Akatsuki: **(sweat drops)**

**

* * *

**

More questions people!! I think your questions are starting to wear them down. We might be able to get them to go insane!! I still don't own any of these bakas, they belong to Kishimoto.

More reviews, more torture!! Sorry about the action marks, the thing won't let me have the same marks as you...Stupid computer!! **(beats computer with a bat)**

To be continued……


	4. CH3: Return of the Awesome Reviewers!

Kazumi: Buwhahaha! More Reviews!

Akatsuki(Except Tobi): NOOOOOOOOO!!

Kazumi & Tobi: YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!

Kazumi: First review fro this chapter please!

* * *

From Barkflow-of-Riverclan:

Hi everyone!(gives Tobi a brownie)

Deidara, I've always wondered. How many teeth do you have? And who's your dentist?(gets some money and gives it to Sasori)

* * *

Akatsuki: Hi.

Tobi: Yay!! Tobi thanks you!! **( goes chibi and nibbles on brownie)**

Kazumi: Awwww!

Deidara: Well…..Considering a mouth has 36 teeth in it and I have four, I'd say I have about 144, un.

Kazumi: ZOMG!! Deidara did math!!

Deidara: **(rolls eyes)**

Sasori: **(looks at the money)** What would I need this for?

Deidara: You could by parts for your puppets, hmm.

Sasori: Good idea.

Kakuzu: Money!! **(tackles Sasori)**

**(Sasori fends Kakuzu off for his life while the Akatsuki watch laughing hard)**

Kazumi: Next!!

* * *

From Bunny the killer of Egos':

(Appears)I'm Ba-ack!(Then glares at the boys of Akatsuki, excluding Tobi, holding a rusty spoon.)Which one of you, spray painted the akatsuki cloud onto my house?

...

to hidan- yah well. You're a -beep--beep-beep--bep- crapper, you mother -beeping--beep-. So go ahead and try it, cuse I bet I am closer to Jashin than you! PWNS!

to sasori- A bit more than you... besides, at least I can put up some fight against my grandma.

to itachi- (feels a little bad, so i glomp him.) ... Wait... YOU TOOK MY POCKY! (Starts anime fight ball... then after a few minutes ends with a kick up where the sun don't shine.)

to zetsu- Fine! Then... Oreo-Plant person!to

kisame- You listen to someone practically half your age like an obediant puppy! (Then stats with a serious face) sarcastic, on and off case of sadism, short-tempered, ADHD, bi-polarness, (may not count) clairvoyance, and the fact that most of my teachers call me an idiot when (if i actually try and/or turn my work in on time) I am most of the time way smarter than them. (Grins evily) That answer your question?

to kakuzu- How do you truly feel about Kazumi-chan... and why did you call her Neko?

...

That is all, for now. But be warned, I will hide in the shadows and wait for the perfect moment to return to torture and most likely humiliate you peoples.

* * *

Akatsuki: O.O **(all point at each other)**

Kazumi: Bakas, who did it?

Akatsuki: **(still pointing at each other)**

Kazumi: **(vein pops)**

Hidan: Oh yeah?! Well fuck you!! I'm a Jashin Priest so fucking ha!!

Kazumi: You like her don't you?

Hidan: NO!! **(face turns red)**

Kazumi: Sure..** (rolls eyes)**

Sasori: Be careful what you say brat, I might turn you into one of my puppets….

Kazumi: **(sprays Sasori eyes with Pledge)** No threatening the reviewers!!

Sasori: Ahhh!! Now I know how Itachi feels!! **(runs around and slams into a wall)**

Itachi: **(glomped)** Noo!! **(fights)**

**(gets kicked in the groin)** OW!!

You **(gasp)** didn't **(gasp)** even give me **(gasp)** a chance **(gasp)** to give you pocky I bought **(gasp)** for you as repayment. **(gives her a pack of new strawberry pocky then falls over groaning)**

Kazumi: Holy crap!! Itachi did something nice!! Wow, that's a first….O.O

Zetsu BH & WH: Why does everyone think we are an Oreo and a plant mixed?

Kazumi: Because you're half black and white, the colors of an Oreo and you have a Venus flytrap on your head. **(says this in matter of fact way)**

Zetsu BH & WH: Oh…. **(disappears into ground to think this over)**

Kisame: Kay…… Would you like to borrow my Samehada to take care of your teachers? **(evil grin)**

Kazumi: Wow…… I'm shocked…… We're personality twins! **(points at Bunny)** Cool!!

Kakuzu: Um…I only see Kazumi as someone to get money from….I only think of her as someone that is kind of a friend. I have no idea what to think of her….. **(quickly looks away) ( starts counting money)**

Kazumi: Yay!! Now I don't have to worry about being stalked by you!!

Kakuzu: I didn't say I wasn't going to stop stalking you. **(stops counting money and looks at her evilly)**

Kazumi: O.O Oh…crap!! **(runs)**

Kakuzu: **(stalks)**

Kazumi: Next!!

* * *

From Akira Phoenix & Hikami Haruda:

Akira and Hikami walk in and hit joy buzzers on Kabuto's and Deidara's back before giving each other high fives.

Hikami: I wanted to do that for some time.

Akira glomps Itachi and handcuffs him to Kakashi sensei.

Akira: This won't be pretty.

Akira hugs Iruka who gets knocked over. She steals his headband and runs, giving it to an unsuspecting Tobi.

Akira: Hey Iruka, how do you react to being paired with Kakashi in fanfiction? I find it weird.

Akira hides behind Itachi is looks ready to kill Kakashi.

Iruka: Hey! Where's my headband?

Tobi had thrown it while Kisame was being tied up against his will and forced to watch fish being killed and gutted.

Akira: Didn't see it.

Hikami laughs. Iruka's headband landed on Hidan who starts cursing up a storm and takes out the first person he sees which was poor Tobi.

Akira: This is getting fun.

Itachi is twitching as he wants to get the one that got him handcuffed to Itachi.

Akira: Kabuto told me to do it. He wants you to kick him far away in the head.

* * *

Deidara: **(zapped)** Ow!!

Kabuto: **(who was dragged back into this) (zapped)** Shit!!

Itachi: **(glomped)** Crud…Why did I have to be soo hot. -/.\-

**(handcuffed)** What the fuck!?

Tobi: Tobi wonders who's headband is this.

Kisame: Oh the inhumanity!! **(starts foaming at mouth, spasming)**

Hidan: **(gets hit with a headband)** Son of a bitch!!

**(starts chasing Tobi down)**

Tobi: Tobi didn't mean to!! Tobi's a good boy!! **(runs for his life)**

Itachi: Kabuto wanted you to do this? **(glares at Kabuto)**

Kabuto: Oh….shit!! Meep!!

**(Itachi would send a kick to Kabuto's head, sending him flying all the way to Mexico)**

Kazumi: **(tranqs Hidan)** No hurting Tobi!!

Hidan: Shit!! Not again!! **(K.O.'D)** X . X

Kazumi: **(laughs at Kisame and leaves him there)**

Iruka: **(picks his headband back up) (huffs) (goes back to Konoha)**

Itachi & Kakashi: **(trying their best not to kill each other)**

Kazumi:** (unlocks the cuffs and teleports Kakashi back home)**

Geesh….Too many enemies being dragged into this.

**(Meanwhile Kakashi is home only to find himself in a bikini, " Holy shit!!" he shouts)**

**(Naruto walks by and laughs and points at him)**

Kazumi: Next!!

Kakuzu: **(stalking her still, wants her money)**

Kazumi: Damn…..Thought I lost him…-.-

* * *

From Better Man:

(shoots Kisame with a chibi ray gun and he turns into a fish)What? I thought it was the chibi gun..not the fish gun!

Deidara

Favorite thing to do besides blowing up stuff?Do me a favor and prank Sakura please.

* * *

Kisame: **( is a fish now)** Blub blub!! **(translation: Need water!!)**

Kazumi: **(quickly puts Kisame fish into a fish bowl full of water)**

Kisame: Blub! **( Thanks!)**

Deidara: Annoying my Danna, un. **(grins)**

Yes, I'll prank Sakura. **(sneaks into Konoha and into Sakura's house)**

**(puts a clay bomb in her toilet)**

**(quickly leaves without a trace)**

Sakura in Konoha: **(goes into restroom)**

**(BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!)**

Deidara: LMAO!!

Rest of Akatsuki: **(sweat drops but laugh anyway)**

Kazumi: Next already!!

* * *

From Sonar:

Iruka(tries not to laugh about the fact that he was wearing a tutu last chapter and pats Iruka on the back)

I'm actually only 21 but I got a crush on you. You so are one of my favorite characters to watch. Don't worry, I'm not a crazy fangirl.

(goes to move but Naruto pushes her into Iruka and her hands get glued to Iruka's top)Superglue? You got to be kidding me!

(is blushing as she sees Iruka's reaction)

(goes over to Iruka and tells her about the dream which was not PG Rated and he was turning red in the cheeks)

Not the kind of dream I expected but I do have respect for you.What is the biggest misconception about you?Weirdest thing you seen?Worse thing someone did to torment you?

Itachi

Your welcome for the apple. You looked hungry.

Is Tobi's niceness driving anyone insane?

What happened whenever the Akatsuki get time for a vacation?

Kidomaru

Do you really have a third eye on your forehead? (feels like she is comparing Kidomaru to Tien for some reason)Scariest thing you seen?Most annoying song?

Kabuto

Aw..you're so cute too. If you see Naruto, can you tell him that I did not like being superglued to Iruka though seeing Iruka is a pleasant view?

(Iruka blushes a bit)I have alot of dreams about you including some dirty dreams once in a while.You're also one of my favorite characters.Favorite jutsu to use?

Did you wish that you fought more than relying on medical jutsus in a fight?

* * *

Iruka: **(came back) (glued to Sonar)** Uh….this is awkward…

**(face is red from hearing what her dream was)**

Itachi: **(nods)**

Akatsuki( Except Tobi & Kazumi): Yes!!

Kazumi: Wimps….

Akatsuki: We go to Vegas!! What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!!

Kazumi: I got to come next time, see what you bakas do…. **(evil grin)**

Kidomaru: **(appears)** Yes I do. Is there something wrong with it? **(pulls out a mirror and looks at it)**

Scariest thing? Tayuya on her period!! She becomes like a demon!! Me and the others have to run for our lives most of time!!

My favorite jutsu is My Spiral Spider Web Jutsu.

Um thanks for the questions…I think.

Kazumi: AHHH!! SPIDER!! **(smacks Kidomaru with newspaper)**

Kidomaru: OW!! I'm out of here!! **(disappears)**

Kabuto: **(came back from Mexico with a sombero)** I'll see what I can do about Naruto….

**(blushes at the dream thing)** Uh….I'm one of your favorites? Thanks!

My favorite jutsu? Hmm…. Transformation jutsu. Like to see the surprised looks when they realize I'm not who they thought I was.

Sometimes I do….But my profession is medical jutsu.

Kazumi: Next!!

* * *

From BrokenHearted-Ninja:

Hey Guys! Im back! Why?..well i was bored at home..plus i got grounded for setting a part of the backyard on fire...Which means i cant watch Tv for a week..T-T

Zetsu: Why did you join Akatsuki?

All: Who is the most annoying person in Konoha?

Tobi: Are you gaining weight? People keep giving you loads of sweets. (Hugs)

Kisame: Have you ever eaten sushi? Also can you talk to fish? Cause if you do i think you need to talk to my fish. I think its trying to kill me!!.

Sasori: (hits over the head) Its fleeting dammit!.

Pein: Who is the most annoying person besides Tobi?

Deidara: What is the most tramatic fangirl experience you've had?

Kazumi and Itachi: Have you posted those sasuke pictures yet? Also i was at the hospital and sasuke attacked me because i said he had chicken . The sad part is i just hit him over the head with a clipboard and he went into a coma... Theclipboard is a good weapon (eats chocolate pocky)

* * *

Zetsu: I joined because I was promised a better life.

Akatsuki: Isn't it obvious? Sai!!

(somewhere in Konoha, Sai sneezes, " Someone's talking about me," he mutters, returning to painting)

Tobi: No, Tobi is a good boy and exercises!! (hugs back)

Kisame: (had been turned back to normal) Um, yes, I have eaten sushi. But don't think I'm a cannibal because….For the last time, I'm not a fish or shark!! And sorry, I don't talk to fish.

Kazumi: I can though!!

Kisame: No wonder you were able to understand me when I was a fish.

Kazumi: Yep. **(smiles)**

Sasori: **(dodges hit)** Eternal brat!

Pein: The only other person is Deidara.

Deidara: Ha, un!! And I resent that Leader!!

Um, the scariest time was when that one psycho fan started stalking me, un. She would sneak into my room and wear my clothes, un. The creepiest thing she did was sniffing my underwear, hmm!! I felt soo violated, yeah. But thankfully she found someone else to bug, un!!

Itachi & Kazumi: We're planning on making a airplane empty those photos onto Konoha when it's at its busiest, that way everyone can see it.

Kazumi: That was a good idea Itachi.

Itachi: Thanks.

Kazumi: Onto the next review!

* * *

From GaaGaa4Narutoguys:

Okay, so I am going to focus on Deidara considering he is my favorite character. Okay, well Deidara, did you know... that you are very hott? Also, I agree with your veiw on art. Art is fleeting, not eternal.

* * *

Deidara: Yes!! I'm hot, yeah!!

And yay, the believers of my view are just great, hmm!! **(glomps GaaGaa and Broken)**

Thank you, un!!

Sasori: **(rolls eyes and grumbles)**

Kazumi: Well I guess that's it for this chapter…

Akatsuki(Except Tobi): Yes!!(un)

Kazumi: Shut up, there'll be another as soon as more reviews arrive.

Akatsuki(Except Tobi): Damn!!(un)

Tobi & Kazumi: See ya next chapter!!

* * *

More questions people, they're going slowly insane, I can just feel it!!

I do not own any Akatsuki except myself and my name of Kazumi. I also do not own any other Naruto characters that are dragged into this. The Akatsuki and every other character belong to Kishimoto.

Remember people. Ask questions until they go insane!!


	5. CH4: Violence, Cussing, A new Member!

* * *

Kazumi: Man, people must love this story!!

Akatsuki(Except Tobi): We're not enjoying this.

Kazumi: Shut up you big babies!!

Kazumi: First review of this story!!

From Better Man:

(uses the chibi ray gun and turns Deidara into a two year old who thinks the author is his parent)

DeidaraI dare you to stick some paper bombs down Tobi's shirt.

Can i dare you Daria?

ItachiI dare you to read this story and yes I know the link won't work in a review./s/4412404/1/SharinGlasses

Ino

Does purple cover blood better than pink?

* * *

Deidara: **(tugs on Kazumi's cloak)** Mommy, can I have a cookie, un?

Kazumi: Holy crap!! **(goes into shock)**

Deidara: **(sticks a paper bomb down Tobi' shirt)** Art is a bang, un!!

**(bomb blows up, sending Tobi flying)**

Tobi: KYAAAAAHHHH!!

Itachi: Um….Ok….. **(looks up link)**

**(done reading)** Curse you Sasuke!!

Kazumi: **(comes out of shock)** Ugh, I'm a parent and I'm not even the actual mom…..Oh well! **(picks Deidara up and holds him, huggling and giving him a cookie)**

Deidara: Thank you Mommy, un. **(nibbles on cookie)**

Kazumi: No prob. Deidara.

Ino: **(walks in and looks at review)**

Yes, purple is totally darker and much prettier!!

**(leaves to catch up with Shikamaru and Chouji)**

Kazumi: Next review!!

* * *

From Akira Phoenix & Hikami Haruda:

Akira: we are back!

Itachi: Gah!

Itachi jumped and hit his head into the ceiling.

Itachi: Why am I seeing birdys?

Diedara: Cause they go boom!

Itachi suddenly hears explosions and crashes to the ground before passing out.

Akira: Itachi-san!

Akira checks him out and then he gets kidnapped by some crazy fangirls.

Akira gets a flame gun and chases after the fangirls.

Hikami: anime sweatdrop.

Hikami looks around.

Hikami: Are your eyes blue Shino-san?

Shino raised an eyebrow.

Hikami: Um..who to ask next? I could ask Itachi the weasel but the fangirls got him.

Hikami sees Tauya.

Hikami: Hey flute player. What's the biggest misconeption about you?

* * *

Itachi: **(currently being kidnapped by fangirls)**

Deidara: Mommy, what are fangirls, un? **(tugs on her cloak neckband)**

Kazumi: People who like or practically worship someone.

Deidara: Oh, ok. **(giggles at Itachi being kidnapped)**

Shino: I am puzzled why I am here but I will say this. I won't give definite answers. **(disappears in a cloud of bugs)**

Kazumi: Weirdo…-.-

Tayuya: The biggest fucking misconception about me is that I'm calm and quiet.

Me? Quiet and calm? When fucking pigs fly!!

Hidan: **(elbows Kakuzu and whispers**) I think I like this one.

Kakuzu: **(rolls eyes) **

Tayuya: **(hears this and flips Hidan off)**

Hidan: **(flips her off)** Right back ya!!

Kazumi: Next dammit!!

Deidara: **(gasps)** Mommy!!

Kazumi: Sorry. **(sweat drops)**

Next review please.

* * *

From Jadel Thorn & Velvet Sin:

laughs at kisame as he is in fish form

Jadel: Wow..insanity is in the house.

Velvet: Oh shut up.

Jadel: Make me.

Jadel gets pie in her face.

VElvet: Ha ha!

Jadel wipes some on Velvet's face but Velvet cleans herself off while Jadel grumbles.

Velvet looks around and glomps Deidara.

Velvet: Maybe we should turn Kisame to normal.

Jadel: Whatever. He's already losing it due the cats and fish guns.

Velvet gets her gun and fires at Kisame but he looks like himself with a fishbowl on his head.

Jadel: Still looks dog ugly.

Kisame cries.

Kisame: No one loves me.

Kisame runs off.

Jadel: CRYBABY and you are suppose to be a member of the AKATSUKI!

Velvet: Hey Itachi, I think Deidara is trying to prank you.

Jadel: Hey Shikamaru!

Jadel glomps Shikamaru who ends up panicking since he thinks women are demon.

Shikamaru: Get her off. It burns. My precious clothes!

Velvet: Woah..he does act like Golem from Lord of the rings.

Shikamaru is trying hard to get Jadel off but she won't let go.

Jadel: How come you don't try your shadow jutsu? Worried you will accidently catch your own body.

Jadel kisses Shikamaru on the cheek and then glomps Kankurou and Gaara.

Jadel: Marry me Kankurou.

* * *

Deidara: **(glomped) (giggles)** Yay, I is loved, un.

Itachi: **(being kidnapped at the moment)** Nah, he's busy being a two year old at the moment.

Kisame: **(runs crying into emo closet)**

Kazumi: Dang it!! Too much emoness!!

Shikamaru: **(kissed on cheek)** AH!! IT BURNS!! **(runs around in circles)**

Gaara & Kankurou: **(glomped)**

Kankurou: Uh….. I'll think about it. **(sweat drops and blushes)**

Gaara: Wow…. I feel like getting some cookies.

Kazumi: Next!!

* * *

From Killen Mortuda:

Kidomaru

Are you sure you're not related to Tien from Dragon Ball?

Tobi

Favorite color?

Hidan

Did you tell Deidara to dye my clothes pink?

* * *

Kidomaru: No, I'm not related to Tien, though we both have three eyes, we look nothing alike.

Tobi: Tobi's favorite color is orange!! Tobi's a good boy!!

Hidan: Maybe…… Why the fuck you accusing me? **(shifty eyes) (hides pink dye quickly)**

Kazumi: Pfft, pink is creepy.

Deidara:** (fell asleep snuggling his mommy)**

Kazumi: Awww!! **(hugged him smiling)**

Kakuzu: You like kids don't you?

Kazumi: Yep.

Kakuzu:** (turns into a fiver year old)** Money pwease?

Kazumi: Dang, I just gave away my weakness. **(sighs)** Oh well. **(gives Kakuzu money)**

Kakuzu: Tank you. **(hugs her leg)**

Kazumi: **(sweat drops laughing slightly)** Too…cute….!!

Next review, hurry up!!

* * *

From Calida Harada:

IrukaHa ha! you got a girl glued to you.

(the comment makes Iruka's face turn red)

NarutoI dare you and Deidara to team up and have a prank war with Kohonamaru and his friends.

* * *

Iruka: **(embarrassed) (face is red)**

Naruto: No way am I working with that weirdo!! Believe it!!

Deidara: Wah!! **(still a two year old) (cries)**

Kazumi: Look what you did!! Be his partner in pranking or suffer a mother's wrath!! **(demonic aurora)**

Naruto: **(sweat drops)** O-Ok!!

Kazumi: **(turns Deidara back to an adult)**

Deidara: **( an adult again)** Now let's show them a prank they'll never forget, un. **(evil grin)**

Naruto: **(evil grin as well)**

**(Naruto and Deidara leave to go have a prank war with Kohonamaru, including exploding pain bombs and whip cream pies)**

Kazumi: **(looks down at fiver year old Kakuzu who is still hugging her leg)** Can you let go now?

Kakuzu: Can I haves more money pwease? **(big chibi sparkly eyes)**

Kazumi: Gah!! Too cute!! Fine!! Just stop, your cuteness is killing me! **(gives Kakuzu more money)**

Kakuzu: Thanks. **(turns back to normal and walks off with money, smiling under his mask happily)**

Kazumi: **(sighs)** Next please.

* * *

From Masido Kemikawa:

Hidan

i dare you to swear in Tobi's ear till he goes deaf.

Itachi

Funniest thing you did to someone?

Have you ever been nice?

How do you react to being paired with your brother in fanfiction? Actually, you been paired with Sakura and Hinata also.

What do you think of Tsunade?

Kabuto

(sticks a "I'm Orochimaru's love child" sign on his back and runs.)

Tobi

Hi

(buries Tobi in cookies)

* * *

Hidan: Ooh, this might be fucking fun after all. **(walks over to Tobi who just got back from being blown away)**

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUC!! **(screams this in Tobi's ear)**

Tobi: AHHHH!! Tobi can't hear!! **(runs around in circles holding hands over ears)**

Hidan: **(falls over laughing hard) **

Kazumi: **(punts Hidan's ass to Antarctica)**

Hidan: SHIT!!** (flying through the air)**

Itachi: **(has gotten away from crazed fangirls)** I don't have much of a humor so I've never done anything funny.

Yes, I have been nice but only once a year. **(smirks)**

Being paired with Sasuke?! Sakura!? Hinata!? OMG!! You people are crazy!! I'd never feel anything for those people other than hate! Disgusting!

Kabuto: I am not Orochimaru's love child!! **(vein popping out on temple)**

Tobi: WHAT!?** (is deaf) (gets buried in cookies)** YAY!! **(starts eating them)**

Kakuzu: LMAO!! **(pointing and laughing at Hidan who is flying through the air)**

Kazumi: **(looks at Kakuzu, an evil grin on lips)**

Kakuzu: Oh snap!! O.O

Kazumi:** (glomps Kakuzu and clings to him)** My Godzilla!!

Kakuzu: **(gets glomped by Kazumi and clung to)** Gah!! This is torture!! Being glomped a lot!!

Kazumi: Let's just read the next review already!!

* * *

From Sonar:

Iruka

(tries to get her hands off his arms but has no luck and she is blushing)

(and of course, people were taking photos.)

Are you all right there?

(Iruka tries to appear fine but he finds this awkward including when the top of her head was touching his body.)

Weirdest fangirl experience?

Silliest prank that was pulled on you by a student?

Have you ever pranked someone?

Actually I don't mind being near you. (heart is racing as Iruka wondered why Naruto did this to him)

(Iruka is taken from his thoughts as Blaze rests against him for the moment, feeling tired after trying to pry her hands free)

Kabuto

I was actually around the same age as you when I watched Naruto. You're the first character I saw.

Could you please help me get unglued from Iruka's arms? I'll give you a hug if you do and I will tell you one of the dreams I had about you.

Biggest misconception about you?

How hard was it to adjust to working with Orochimaru after he freed you?

Biggest lie Orochimaru told you?

Scariest nightmare you had?

Can I please see you with your hair down?

Ebisu

How many times have been called a pervert and does anyone else besides Naruto call you that?

Biggest misconception about you?

How many times were you mistaken for Shino's uncle?

Do you have a crush on anyone in the village?

Favorite color?

Worse song you heard?

Favorite book?

What habit have you picked over the years that never seems to leave you? (same question to Akatsuki & Kabuto)

Shikamaru

Favorite cloud shape?

I once seen my dead cousin and a gorilla in the clouds once.

* * *

Iruka: Eh heh…. **(blushing)**

Um, I'd say my fangirl experience is when one of them dressed up as me and followed me around, calling herself Mini Iruka.

The silliest prank is the one we're in now. This is a first for me.

Pranking? Nah, I'm too nice for that.

**(blushes from being leaned on)**

Kabuto: I'll see what I can do about the glue. **(searches through bag for glue solvent)**

Biggest misconception about me was when someone thought I was old because they only saw my hair from behind. Was awkward then.

Not very hard, he always made his orders clean and understandable.

There are many lies, all big.

The scariest nightmare? Can't remember, but it was enough to make me wake up screaming.

**(finds glue solvent and pours it over Blaze's and Iruka's hands)** It will take 10 minutes so hold still.

Sure, I'll let my hair down. **(unties his hair, letting it fall down his face)**

Kazumi: Wow….Bored now….. **(still clinging to Kakuzu)**

Ebisu: One, I'm not a pervert, two, a lot even though I'm not, three, yes,others have called me this.

Big misconception, being called a pervert. **(sweat drops)**

Being called Shino's uncle? A few, but that was long ago.

I might have a crush...Maybe… **(blushes)**

I don't have a favorite color right now.

Worse song I've heard? Um… Let me think about it….

Favorite book? Can't say. **(quickly hides Icha Icha Make Out Violence)**

Habit? Don't have one.

Kabuto: Making medicine concoctions.

Kazumi: Writing crap like this and drawing.

Pein: Controlling this damned organization.

Konan: My origami.

Deidara: **(just came back from prank war)** Making my art, un.

Sasori: Making puppets.

Hidan:** (back from Antarctica, shivering badly)** F-Fuck… M-My r-rituals….S-Shit!! I'm c-cold!!

Kisame: Playing chess with Itachi.

Itachi: Playing chess with Kisame.

Kakuzu: Collecting bounties.

Shikamaru: Favorite cloud shape is a leaf.

Kazumi: **(snuggles Kakuzu, then walks away)** My Godzilla.

Kakuzu: **(sweat drops)**

Kazumi: Next!!

* * *

From Bunny the killer of Egos':

...

(Walks simply around the members, patting there backs'. Then stops next to Kazumi, pulling out two switches.)

Kazumi-chan, This will make your whole life easier.

(Flips the switch, and a electrical jolt passes throught the Akatsuki.)

* * *

Kazumi: **(watches Akatsuki get zapped)** Ouch… That's gotta hurt!!

Akatsuki: **(shocked)** AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Kazumi: Owie, man that must sting. **(flinches)**

**(unflips switch)** You can shock them later, we still have reviews to answer.

Next!!

Akatsuki: (all laying on the ground, twitching, some foaming at the mouth)

* * *

From BrokenHearted-Ninja:

(kicks Sasori in the head and he flys back into the wall)Its fleeting! If it was Eternal it get boring!! And dont call me a brat dammit!!

Konan: Do people ever ask you if your hair is dyed blue? Is it annoying?

Zetsu: How did you get the venus fly trap? Do you like your life now?

Tobi:(i turn into chibi form and hug him) aww tobi is soo nice! (smiles)

All: Whats your favorite type of music? What is one music artist you hate?Whats your favorite show?

Itachi: Is it true Sasukes name means fan?Do you have fanboys?O.o How do you feel about people pairing you up with Sakura so much?

Kazumi:Can you try to talk to my fish! everytime i walk past it it rams itself into the glass!!OOCan i join akatsuki?

Pein: Who do you trust the most?Who do you fear the most?

Deidara: (hugs) What would you do if some guy came up to you and hit on you thinking that you were a girl? Aslo you need to talk some sense into my friend Hannah. she hates art and she still thinks your a girl...

(Eats chocolate pocky) Yeah chocolate! :D

* * *

Sasori: **(rubs head and grumbles)**

Deidara: Lmao!!

Konan: Yes, people have. Yes it is annoying but I ignore it all.

Zetsu: It eventually just appeared one day, it's origin a mystery to us. Yes, we are currently happy with our lives at the moment.

Tobi: **(had gotten his ears healed by Kazumi)** Yay!! Tobi's loved!! **(hugs back)**

Akatsuki: Punk, rock, metal, sometimes Techno.

Hated artist is Brittany Spears!!

Favorite show? Scare Tactics.

Itachi: Well that's new to me.

Yes, I have fanboys as well. **(shudders)**

Being paired with Sakura is just plain weird. **(right eye twitches)**

Kazumi: Kay, I'll talk to your fish. **(talks to Broken's fish)**

Uh huh….Mhmm…..Ah…Ok. **(looks at Broken)**

Um….Your fish is not happy, he isn't exactly fond of you. I suggest you sleep with a bat from now on. **(shudders) **

And yes, you can join the Akatsuki.

Pein: Hey!! Who gave you control of who joins or not!?

Kazumi: Since I'm in control of this story punk.

Pein: Oh crap, forgot about that. -.-

Kazumi: Anyway… Welcome to the Akatsuki Broken!! **(gives her a cloak)**

Pein: I trust Konan the most. I don't fear anyone.

Kazumi: **(pulls out a chainsaw and looks at Pein, grinning maniacally)**

Pein: Except her!! **(hides behind Konan)**

Konan: **( inner self squeals: Yay, he's touching me!!) (real world self just sighs)**

Deidara: **(hugs back)** Nice to see ya again Broken, hmm.

If I was hit on by a guy who thought I was a girl, I'd shove clay down his throat and blow him to pieces.

**(goes to Broken's house and yells at Hannah for calling him a girl and that art is awesome)**

Itachi: Wish I had some pocky.

Kazumi: Here you go weasel. **(gives Itachi vanilla pocky)**

Itachi: Yes!! (goes to corner nibbling on pocky)

Kisame: **(just came out of closet) (sees Itachi and sweat drops)**

Kazumi: Well, we're out of reviews for this chapter. See ya next one.

Akatsuki(Except Tobi): NOOO!! WE'RE GONNA GO INSANE!!

Tobi & Kazumi: WOO!!

Kazumi: **(kisses Kakuzu on the cheek then runs and hides)**

Kakuzu: **(sweat drops and blushes) (thinks):** Why'd the author have to be a fangirl of me?

Tobi & Kazumi: Bye people!! See you next chapter!!

Akatsuki: **(wave half heartedly)**

* * *

Wooo!! I wonder how much people want to know about these people? Well, if I get more questions then I'll know it's a lot!!

More torture please, they're starting to go insane, we're sooo close!!

I do not own any of these people except myself, Kazumi.

To be continued……


	6. CH5: Dares! Woo!

Kazumi: Sorry for the delay!! The Akatsuki tried to knock me out so I couldn't make another chapter. **(shoots the Akatsuki a glare)**

Akatsuki(Except Tobi cause He didn't participate): **(sweat drops)**

Kazumi: First review of this chapter please!!

* * *

From Bunny:

Hi Kazumi-chan! Hi Tobi! Hi Konan! (Flips switch on new, bigger switch with panel underneath.) Hi Boys! (Flips it off)

To Mr.Weasel-Chan

What tramatic experience caused you to massacre all your clan except your little brother. Answer and you get a New Punching Bag.(Pulls randomly placed rope, pulling up a randomly placed curtain. Revealing A punching back where grunts, twitches, and death threats, and the promises of using her cousin as his next body, directed at Bunny.)

Did I forget to mention, that it has orochimaru remarks?

To Silver haired vampy

Why do you cuss so much? It's a little sad.

* * *

Kazumi: Hi!!

Tobi: Tobi says hi!! **(waves)**

Konan: Hello. **(waves slightly)**

Itachi: Do I have to answer?

Kazumi: Yes or suffer my wrath with a newspaper! **(holds up rolled up newspaper)**

Itachi: **(sweat drops)** Fine…

Being forced to spy on my family for Konoha….

Orochimaru hmm? **(beats up punching bag)**

Hidan: I am not a fucking vampire!!

Kazumi: **(smacks Hidan on the head with newspaper)**

Hidan: Ow! Shit…damn…mother fucking…Grr!! I cuss because that's how I fucking am.

Kazumi(mumbles): I bet he was raised that way…

Hidan: What?

Kazumi: Nothing!! Next review!!

* * *

From Calida Harada:

Kabuto

(takes photos of him with his hair down)Are you sure that Orochimaru is not Michael Jackson?

Ebisu

(sticks I learned from Jiriaya on how to be a pervert" sign on his back)

Tauya

I dare you to beat the crap out of Hidan

Kisame

Hey sushi!

Itachi

I dare you to kick Sasuke until he is black and blue. Then kick him all the way to China.

* * *

Kabuto: Yes, I'm sure. **(sweat drops)**

Ebisu: Hey!! **(vein popping out on temple, face red with anger)**

Tayuya: Gladly!!

Kazumi: **(hands Tayuya a bat)**

Tayuya: Thanks. **(walks over to Hidan with bat)**

Hidan: Oh shit!! **(runs)**

Tayuya: **(chases after him)**

**(while Tayuya is chasing Hidan, the chapter continues on)**

Kisame: I'm not sushi! I think….

Itachi: Ooh, I like this dare. **(goes to Sasuke's house and beats the living crap out of him with foot then kicks him the way to China)**

Aaah, sweet victory.

Kazumi: **(sweat drops)**

**(Hidan gets beaten up and Tayuya comes back and returns the bat)**

Kazumi: Was it fun?

Tayuya: Hell yeah!! **(grins evilly)**

Hidan: **(walks back black and blue with a few broken ribs and a broken nose)** Ow…Shit!!

**(falls over unconscious)**

Kazumi: Next!!

* * *

From Ada Ikito:

Akatsuki

I dare you to torment Ebisu for a whole chapter and yes, you must call him a pervert through out the chapter and tell every girl what he secretly does.

Tobi

I dare you to ask Tsunade where babies come from and don't stop until she answers.

Gaara

(hands Gaara some cookies and a panda bear)

Pein

I dare you to marry Kazumi

* * *

Akatsuki: Will do!! **(all look at Ebisu, grinning evilly)**

Ebisu: **(sweat drops) **

**(runs for his life)**

**( a few of the Akatsuki chase after him, some stay to answer questions)**

Tobi: But Tobi don't want to know where babies come from, that's icky!!

Kazumi: Then don't.

Gaara: **(eats cookies and pets panda bear)** Thanks.

Pein & Kazumi: Marry him(her)!? NEVER!!

Pein: **(clings to Konan)**

Konan: **(inner self gives fangirl squeal)**

Kazumi: I'd rather very much marry him!! **(points at Kakuzu who's counting his money)**

Kakuzu: **(stops and looks at Kazumi)** O.O!! **(sweat drops and face turns red) **

Kazumi: **(glomps Kakuzu and clings to him)**

Kakuzu: Ahhh!! **(falls over)**

Kazumi: Next!!

* * *

From Better Man:

(attacks Ebisu and makes him watch Barney the dinosaur and then it turns into a horror move)

Deidara

I dare you to prank Sakura and give her a nose bleed.(runs nails on chalkboard and everyone covers their ears)

Ino

I dare you to dye your hair purple.

Naruto

Sakura told me to tell you are hopeless in love and she would never date you in a million years. She also said you suck and she was never your friend. She was just using you to get to Sasuke.

* * *

Ebisu: AAHHHHHH!! THE TORTURE!!

Kazumi: Shut up pervert!! **(smacks him with a raw fish)**

Deidara: How am I going to give her a nose bleed, hmm? **(thinks it over)**

Uh….Got nothing, un.

Akatsuki: **(flinch)**

Kazumi: **(drags Sakura in and puts her in front of Deidara)**

**(rips Deidara's clothes off in front of Sakura)**

Sakura: HOLY SHIT!! **(gets a nose bleed and runs off)**

Deidara: What the fuck, hmm!? **(quickly puts his clothes back on)**

Kazumi: **(falls over laughing till tears come out)**

Ino: No!! I like my hair the way it is!! **(lifts nose up and walks off)**

Naruto: **(sob)**

Kazumi: **(gasp)** Next! **(gasp)**

* * *

From Jadel Thorn & Velvet Sin:

Jadel: Man we are evil.

Velvet: And we only appeared last chapter. We need more of the cast in here but who to call in here.

Jadel: Just don't get pervy sage in. He's weird.

Jadel jumps on Kankurou's back and remains there.

Kankurou: Ugh..just great.

Temari: Brother has got a girlfriend.

ankurou: Shut up!

Jadel keeps on his back as Gaara might be amused.

Jadel: Hey Gaara-san. Is it true that Rock Lee stole your eyebrows? Nah..I'm kidding. I like you without eyebrows.

Velvet: You always say that. He's cute too. He needs a hug.

Velvet hugs Gaara.

Velvet: I seen you die and come back to life in the manga Gaara.

Jadel: Hey Shika!

Shikamaru: Stay away from me.

Jadel: Oh come on. What did a girl do to you when you were younger that caused you to fear them?

Jadel looks at Shikamaru.

Velvet: There's Chouji.

Velvet comes over and hands Chouji some chips and then looks around.

Velvet then tackles Deidara and handcuffs him to Tobi as torture.

Velvet: Hey Kidomaru, is it true that you rape young women or try and be like spiderman?

Jadel: Ok, that was sick.

Velvet: I'm sure Orochimaru has dirty dreams of raping Kabuto.

Orochimaru shows up.

Jadel: Quit raping Sasuke Orochimaru!

* * *

Deidara: Nooo!! Unhandcuff me now, un!! **(pulls hard)**

Tobi: Aw, poor Deidara Senpai.

Gaara: **(hugged)** Wow... Am I a zombie?

Kidomaru: I do not rape women!! I am not trying to be like spiderman!! **(flips them off)**

Orochimaru: I do not rape Sasuke!!

Sasuke: **(back from China)** You better not!!

Orochimaru: **(sweat drops) (runs)**

Sasuke: **(walks off)**

Kazumi: **(twitch)** Ewww…. I need that out of my head!!

**(runs around flailing arms)** AHHH! IT'S STUCK IN MY HEAD!!

**(tackles Kakuzu and hugs him in fear)**

Kakuzu: **(sweat drops and pats her on the head)** It's ok….Calm down…You'll be just fine.

Kazumi: N-Next review please!!

* * *

From Akira Phoenix & Hikami Haruda:

Akira: Hello.

Itachi twitches.

Akira: Hello Itachi-san. Don't you look just hot?

Itachi looks prepared to be glomped. However, Akira comes over and grabs him by the collar.

She takes him offguard with a big kiss on the lips.

Deidara takes photos.

Akira: To everyone, scariest fanboy experience?

Hikami walks over to Pein.

Hikami: Most funniest task that you gave the others to do?

Hikami is still laughing.

Hikami: I dare Ebisu to sing loudly in Orochimaru's ear.

Akira: Well, what is next?

Itachi is just speechless from the kiss and is trying to compose himself.

Akira: Oh Deidara, i hope you give me copies of the photos.

Deidara smiles.

Akira: Hey Tobi. I dare you to glomp Pein.

* * *

Akatsuki: Gay stalkers. O.O

Pein: Making them go into town to shop for clothes and food. It was a hilarious riot!!

Ebisu: Um…A little busy and that is a most likely to die thing. **(still tied up and forced to watch Barney and horror movies)**

Kazumi(clone): Shut up super pervert!! **(smacks him with whip cream pie) (clone disappears)**

Tobi: Ok!! Tobi will glomp Pein!! **(glomps Pein)**

Pein: Off Tobi!! **(beats him off with fists)**

Tobi: Owie. Tobi is sorry.** (drops head)**

Kazumi: Aww…. Poor Tobi. **(hugs Tobi, is no longer traumatized and clinging to Kakuzu)**

Next review please…

* * *

From DingDong NutCase:

Ebisu

I dare you to give Naruto some ramen but make the ramen turns to rocks so when he eats it, he eats alot of rocks.

Kakashi

I dare you to prove that Ebisu is a pervert.

Kisame

I dare you to find out if Itachi or Deidara do play with dolls.

* * *

Ebisu: **(escaped ropes and wipes face off)** I can't, I'm afraid I'll be mauled if I move. **(looks around nervously, surrounded by Akatsuki, all grinning evilly)**

Kakashi: Ebisu!! **(waves him over)**

Ebisu: **(walks over quickly, luckily no one attacking at the moment)** Yes Kakashi?

Kakashi: **(performs Sexy Jutsu)** Chu.

Ebisu: **(gets a major nose bleed)** Gah!!

Kakashi: **(turns back to normal and continues reading Icha Icha MakeOut Violence, smirking under his mask)**

Kazumi: I knew it!!

Kisame: I already found out about Deidara. **(shows pictures and grins evilly)**

Deidara: Hey, un!!

Kazumi: **(gives Tobi a lollipop)**

Tobi: Yay!! **(sticks it in mouth)**

Kazumi: Next review!!

* * *

From Kimakowa Niska:

Ebisu

(hugs Ebisu)

Kidomaru

I dare you to tangle Itachi in some webs.

* * *

Ebisu: **(just cleaned up the blood) (hugged)** Uh…. Thanks for the hug… I think…

Kidomaru: **(puts Itachi in web)** There! Happy!?

Itachi: **(breaks loose and walks off, eating some pocky)**

Kazumi: Next!!

* * *

From Ikara Tomei:

Kogetsu

Why do you wear the bandage on your nose? Is it because you want to look cool?How hard is it to work for Tsunade?

Iruka

How did you get that scar on your face?

Shino

(tackles Shino and pins him only for him to get on top)You like being on top alot don't you? (blush)

* * *

Kogetsu: Uh….Maybe… **(shifty eyes)**

Sometimes it is hard to work for her. But I'm fine.

Iruka: Um…It's along story…

Kazumi: No stories!! They get boring sometimes….

Shino: Uh…..Er…. **(face turns red and quickly gets off)**

Kazumi: Lol. Next!!

* * *

From A Crazed sue:

Ino

I dare you to give Hidan, Naruto, Sasuke, Pein and Shikamaru a make over.

Hidan

I dare you to kick Sasuke in the head hard.

* * *

Ino: Ooh!! What a great idea!!

**(after chasing down said people, Ino gave them a make over)**

Pein: **(in a punk outfit with lots of chains)** Uh….. I think I kind of like it.

Sasuke: **(in a tuxedo)** Uhh…… **(twitch)**

Naruto: **(in a gorilla suit)** Har, har, very funny. **(glares at Ino)**

Shikamaru: **(in a business suit) (sighs)** How troublesome….

Hidan: **(just woke up and is all healed) (in a pimp suit)** Holy shit!!** (rips it off and gets back in normal clothes)**

Hidan: Ok, at least it gives me something to release my fucking anger on. **(kicks Sasuke on the head, hard enough to send him to Africa)**

Ino: Nooo!! Sasuke!!

Kazumi: Pfft…. Stupid Sasuke fan. Oh and I don't mean all fangirls, I just mean Ino and Sakura.

Next review!!

* * *

From Trilesta Mikamo:

Konan

(gives her a laxative filled brownie but she doesn't know it)

Pein

I dare you to do the macerna

Itachi

I dare you dance to (twitch) "Toxic" by Britney Spears and you have to dance or killer bunnies will come.

* * *

Konan: Hmm…

Kazumi: **(smells the laxative and quickly knocks the brownie out of Konan's hand)**

No!! It's filled with laxative!!

Konan: Thanks Kazumi.

Kazumi: No prob.

Hidan: **(sees brownie but doesn't know of the laxative and eats it)**

Kazumi: Hidan!! That had laxative in it!!

Hidan: Oh shit!! O.O

**(grabs stomach which grumbles)**

Bathroom!! **(runs to restroom)**

Kazumi: Baka… -.-

Pein: Sorry, I don't do dares.

Itachi: Nooo!! Not Brittany Spears!!

**(runs and hides in killer bunny proof emo closet)**

Kazumi: Hey!! I thought I got rid of that!!

Kisame: Um… Itachi made a new one.

Kazumi: Damn…

Next review!!

* * *

From Karin Vitell:

Gaara

I dare you to kill the teletubbies.

Ebisu

I dare you to try and drive Tobi insane before he drives you nuts.

* * *

Gaara: Waaay ahead of ya. **(pulls out a shot gun and goes to the teletubbies studio)**

Ebisu: That's impossible. **(looks at Tobi who is running around in circles with the lollipop stuck to his mask)**

Gaara: **(comes back with a slight smile, a drop of blood on his cheek)** There, they're dead.

Kazumi: Woo!! Next review!!

* * *

From Sonar:

Iruka

I think my hands are free now.

(still has her head on his body and slowly pulls off her hands but Naruto pushes Iruka and they get caught in an accidental kiss.)

You look so cute when you blush.

(kisses Iruka on the cheek and kind of cuddles up to him for the moment.)

Is it weird for younger people to have crushes on older people?

(she wonders what he is thinking)

(Naruto shows up and shows Iruka photos of him kissing Blaze and plans to sell them on e-bay)

Kabuto

(keeps true to her word and hugs Kabuto, refusing to let go of him now while his hair is down)

Thank you Kabuto.

(kisses him on the cheek)

Got any nicknames that you get called by?

Oddest task that you had to do?

Is it true that there is times that you hesitate to be evil?

At one point, were you scared to kill someone?

(tells Kabuto about one of the dreams she had of him)

Have you ever pranked someone?

(touches his hair and feels how soft it is) Your hair is soft. (blush)

(Kabuto takes her offguard and then picks her up into his arms, wondering what he has in mind)

* * *

Iruka: **(still blushing)** …… Um no, it's perfectly natural…. **(still blushing)**

Kabuto: Hmm… No nicknames yet.

Having to take care of Orochimaru.

Sometimes…..

No, I'm not scared to kill someone. It's part of being a ninja.

Hmm…. Not since I was a kid.

Kazumi: Kabuto!! Put the girl down!!

**(smacks him on the head with newspaper)**

Kabuto: **(ignores it and walks off with Blaze)**

Kazumi: **(twitch)** Weirdo…..

Next!!

* * *

From BrokenHearted-Ninja:

Thanks for letting me join! (smiles and puts on cloak) So i guess thats three girls in Akatsuki now! :D

All: Whats your favorite sweets?

Kazumi: i guess i understand why my fish hates me...i hardly feed it.. T-T oh well..(puts killer fish in Sasukes room)All better .

Deidara: Well my friend Hannah knows your a guy now...except now shes afraid of you and blond people...i dont know how thats gonna work out since all her family members are blond?

Tobi: whos your favorite konoha girl?

All: will you ever invade konoha?

(Hannah comes in and sees deidara)OMG A BLOND PERSON! HES GONNA KLL ME!NO!(she hits deidara over the head)

Me:(sweatdrop)You forgot to take your pills didnt you?(drags her back to the mental hospital)Ok well sorry about that Deidara!

Itachi: i think you shud run...Zekarin is behind you and shes a HUGE fangirl...and why does she have ropes?

All Akatsuki guys: You guys do know that the presidents of each of your clubs are selling your stuff on Ebay right? (looks on page) Oh and for sum reason your underwear too? how the hell did they get that? And half of Kakuzu money? O.O

Tobi: (gives a cookie and hugs him) aw!! Tobi is a good boy!:D

* * *

Kazumi: No prob. Broken. Now we can boss the retards together. **(grins and pats her on the back)**

Akatsuki: Chocolate, suckers, cookies, gummy fish and worms(un).

Kazumi: Mmm…. I wish I had a cookie. **(stomach grumbles)**

And good idea to put it in Sasuke's room. **(evil grin)**

Deidara: Hmm… Bummer, un.

Tobi: Tobi doesn't have a favorite Konoha girl. Everyone is Tobi's favorite!!

Akatsuki(Except Tobi): **(sweat drops)**

Akatsuki: Soon…

Deidara: It's ok, yeah….

Itachi: OMG!! Fangirl!! Ahhh!!** (runs)**

Akatsuki(Except Konan & Kazumi): **(sweat drops)**

Kakuzu: My money!! **(has a heart attack and falls over)**

Kazumi: Kakuzu!! **(does CPR)**

Live dammit!!

Kakuzu: **(gasp)** I'm going to kill somebody!!

Wait… How am is one of my hearts still alive?

Kazumi: Um… I gave you CPR… **(blushes)**

Kakuzu: Oh... **(face turns red)**

Kazumi: Um, that's the end of this chapter!! See ya next time!!

Kakuzu: Hey, don't change the subject!

Kazumi: Too bad!! **(still blushing)** Bye!! **(waves good bye)**

Tobi: Yay!! **(eats cookies will waving bye)**

* * *

OMG!! I gave Kakuzu CPR!! Oh snap!! What do I do!? Um.. More questions people! They have not been tortured enough!!

To be continued….


	7. CH6:Dares and Marriage! WaitWhat?

Kazumi: Sorry it took sooo long to make another chapter peoples, I was having writers block, and worse, school is going to start for me soon.

Tobi: It'll be ok Kazumi Senpai. **(hugs her)**

Kazumi: **(hugs back)** Thanks Tobi.

First review for this chapter please.

* * *

From Halibel Lecter:

Hello! (Hands Tobi energy drinks, espresso, sugar, coffee, et cetera and a can of silly string) Hehe, heh. Now to get a good seat...

Orochimaru: Ever heard the song Sneaky Snake? Look up the lyrics. It suits you. I dare you to sing it while doing the macarena for Sasuke and Kabuto.

Deidara and Sasori: Sasori, what you don't get is that to Deidara, something's beauty is related directly to its rarity, that is, that something fleeting is beautiful because it can only be seen once. An example is that I'll guess he probably likes "normal" fireworks, especially aerial caps. I do too. Part of their beauty is that they are fleeting and rare--no two are alike, and you can only see each one once. Each is a unique and special experience. They're nice that way. (Slips Deidara a bunch of fireworks and glomps him You are loved, sir.)

Deidara, what you ought to get about Sasori by now is that he believes art should stand the test of time. As opposed to your view on art, your Danna cannot see why anyone would call something "art" if it can only be seen once--true art to him is able to be shared with others and traverse years, even millenia to spread its message. The power of the message--and that power's staying ability-is what makes it beautiful. He sees something as beautiful if it can be seen hundreds of times by hundreds of eyes and still be amazing.Sorry, but infighting ticks me off.

Itachi...seriously, what's with the wrinkles? They have, like, cream for that. Or botox. You no longer have to live with being chronically old--I mean, erm, chronologically advanced.The worst yaoi pairing you've ever been written into?Does your brother's hatred for you ever bother you?Would you consider speaking to the Doctor here? (introduces Dr. Phil and ties Itachi to a chair)

Dr. Phil: "And we're back; we're here speaking to Itachi, who hates his brother. Now what I see here is that you keep talkin' about hate, hate, hate, you hurt Sasuke and he hurts you, hate, hate, hate and it's a vicious cycle!...Itachi, let me tell you something. You can start healing this right now. You can fix this rift with Sasuke. You just need to own this and..."(etc.)

Hidan--Yo' momma wears gunnysack underdrawers! Yo' momma so ugly, even Naruto doesn't "believe it!" Yo' momma so stupid, when the weatherman say it's chilly out she grabs a spoon! Yo' momma so fat, when she goes out in the rain folks yell "Taxi!" Ahem So...who taught you how to cuss?

Konan--Do you ever get the urge to be girly? If you obey this urge, does it freak out the others?Have you ever painted the other members' fingernails/toenails, done their hair, etc. for comic pruposes?

Sasori--ever seen "Pinocchio"?I dare you to try lying...heh.I have heard you were/are addicted to Old English furniture polish. Hm? If so there's a 12-step program. 1-800-IPolish

Kisame--Don't listen to those who say you are a fish. You are simply Simian-Aquarian. An hot. And smexy. And you pwn. Y'know, in a wet-scaly-slimy kind of way.

Deidara--Do you celebrate July 4th?

What's the best prank you ever pulled? On who?

Pein--Have you ever used your position as Leader for un-evil purposes? Like for guinea pigs? (Gives guinea pigs to the Akatsuki)Do you like Konan?

Kakuzu: Do you play the stock market?

Sorry about the length. Oh and one more thing: can I join the Akatsuki? I can cook!

* * *

Tobi: Ooooh!! **(drinks said items)**

Akatsuki: O.O Oh shit(un)!!

Kazumi: **(quickly puts Tobi in Konoha and gets the Akatsuki as far away as possible)**

Akatsuki(Except Tobi of course): **(sigh in relief)**

Orochimaru: Sneaky snake….. **(glares at reviewer)** No, I will not lower myself for your entertainment.

Kazumi: Get out of here you creepy dumbass snake freak!! **(punts Orochimaru to Pluto)**

Sasori: I understand his point of view, I just believe art should last forever so everyone can see it. **(scowls)**

Deidara: Yay, I'm loved, hmm!!** (hugs back, grinning while checking out the fireworks)**

I understand Danna's point of view, I just like my art better, un.

Kazumi: The truth is, these two are good friends, they just like to argue a lot. **(sweat drops)**

Itachi: They're stress marks!! **(goes to emo closet)**

Kazumi: Grrr!!

Itachi: **(still in the emo closet)** The worst yaoi is ItaSasu. It's my brother for Pete's sake!! Incest is disgusting!!

Nope, his anger doesn't bother me one bit.

Kazumi: Why'd you think he pissed him off in the first place? He likes to see his brother's face all screwed up with rage!!

Itachi: NOOOOOOOOOOO!! **(squirms in chair)**

Kazumi: AHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAA!!

Hidan: **(face turns red with anger and starts foaming at mouth)** FUCKER!!

Kazumi:** (knocks Hidan out with bat)** Sorry about that. **(sweat drops)**

Hidan just probably picked it up from his parents or someone outside while he was a kid and just walking along.

Hidan: **(K.O.'D with a huge bump on head)** X .X

Konan: Yes, I've had urges to be girly. Yes, it scared the shit out of everyone except Kazumi. Yes, I have done their nails and hair just to tick them off. **(smiles slightly)**

Sasori: Yes….. And no, my nose does not grow when I lie.

Kazumi: Yes it does, he just quickly replaces it when the person isn't looking at him at the moment.

Sasori: Crap!! You weren't supposed to tell them!!

Kazumi: Hey, you know it's true!

Sasori: No!! **(nose suddenly becomes longer)**

Shit!!

Kazumi: AHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! **(points and laughs)**

Sasori: **(quickly replaces nose)** Yes, I do like Old English furniture. It's quiet and stoic looking.

…..Er…..I'll keep your plan in mind….. **(sweat drops)**

Kisame: Yay!! Someone thinks I'm sexy!! **(tears of joy)**

Kazumi: I always thought you were sexy.

Kisame: **(even more tears of joy)** I'm sooo happy!! **(sniff)**

Kakuzu: Hey!! I thought you were my fangirl!!

Kazumi: I still am. I'm just saying what I think. I think you're even sexier. **(blushes)**

Kakuzu: O.O!! **(blushes hard)**

Deidara: Yes, it's my favorite holiday, yeah. **(grins)** I celebrate it with a big homemade bang, un.

Blowing up Sakura's toilet. **(evil grin)**

Pein: Yeah… A few times… but not for guinea pigs.** (sweat drops)**

Akatsuki: **(raise brows)**

Zetsu BH & WH: Can we eat it?

Kazumi: NO!!** (snatches his guinea pig away, along with everyone else's' and sets them free)**

Pein: Um….. **(blushes slightly)** ….. Maybe…..

Konan: **(blushes slightly as well)**

Kazumi: Awww!!

Kakuzu: **(face returns from being red)** Er…. I may have had moments where I have had played stock market…

Kazumi: **(gives Kakuzu a wad of money)** Be happy sexy stitches.

Kakuzu: O.O **(face turns red again)** W-What happened to being called Godzilla?!

Kazumi: I got bored of it, this is just to mess with ya. .

Kakuzu: -.-;; **(still blushing)**

Kazumi: Yesh!! You can join!! **(gives Halibel a cloak)** Welcome to the Akatsuki!! We need more members anyway!!

Tobi: **(comes back from reeking hyper chaos on Konoha, no longer super crazed hyper, just normal hyper) **Tobi's a good boy!!

Kazumi: Next please!!

* * *

From Akatoro Mitsaiya:

Itachi

Hey look! Britney Spears is behind you and is asking for Sasuke's hand in marriage. I dare you to kill her.

ebisu

You don't look well. Be glad that gaara killed the teletubbies.I dare you to torment...Hidan!

* * *

Itachi: Die you evil skank!! **(attacks Brittany Spears with sword)**

Brittany Spears: Oh noes!! **(gets killed)**

Kazumi: Yayz!!

Akatsuki: Woo!!

Ebisu: **(gulp) (looks at Hidan nervously)**

Hidan:** (glares)** I dare ya, I fucking dare ya to try!! **(holding scythe menacingly)**

Kazumi: **(punts Ebisu back to Konoha for his safety)** Buh bye pervert!!

Next review!!

* * *

From Ikara Tomei:

(Kisamethrows killer bunny Kisame's head but misses and it hits Sakura)

I dare you and Itachi to have a staring contest.

Shino

(steals Shino's jacket and sticks it on Shikamaru)

Is it true that Kiba does things like a dog?

I dare you to humliate Kiba.

I dare you to confuse Tobi.

Neji

(pokes him for the whole chapter)

TenTen

I dare you to fight Tauya.

Temari

I dare you to fight Sakura.

Kakashi

I dare you to make Iruka blush.

* * *

Kisame: Ha!!

Sakura: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!! **(runs around with killer bunny clawing at face)**

Kisame: Uh….can't…..last time I did, I couldn't see for days from having my eyeballs drying out from staring sooo long.

Shino: Can I have my jacket back?

No, Kiba does not do everything like a dog, only sometimes.

No, I'm not going to humiliate my teammate. **(frowns)**

There's no need to confuse Tobi, look at him now. **(points at Tobi with thumb)**

Tobi: **(trying to push open a door with the sign saying pull)** Help, Tobi can't open the door!! Tobi is confused!!

Akatsuki(Except Tobi): **(sweat drops)**

Neji: Ow.

Ten Ten: Um…. No?

Kazumi: Wimp!!

Ten Ten: **(glares)**

Temari: I can't, she's being mauled by a bunny at the moment. **(smirks, watching Sakura run around screaming with a killer bunny on her head)**

Kakashi: Kay. **(shows Icha Icha MakeOut Violence to Iruka)**

Iruka: **( gasps and face turns bright red)**

Kazumi: Next!!

* * *

From A Crazed sue:

Itachi

I dare you to wear pink for a whole chapter and you can't take it off because if you do, Deidara has already placed bombs everywhere so he might blow you up.I dare you to give Hinata a kiss on the cheek and be nice.

Konan

I dare you to do a duet with Hidan. The song the two of you must sing is "The Way I are" by Timbaland f/ Keri Hilson.

Ebisu

I dare you to glomp Iruka.

Akatsuki

I dare you to torment Lee, Gai and Naruto for a whole chapter.

* * *

Itachi: Never!! Pink doesn't look good on me anyways…. **(disappears in a puff of smoke, avoiding bombs)**

Konan & Hidan( woken up): NO!!

Ebisu: What's with glomping? I don't get it…. Oh well…. At least it's not someone who'll kill me. **(glomps Iruka)**

Iruka: **(glomped) **Gah!!

Ebisu: There reviewer, be happy now. -.-

Akatsuki: **(all grin evilly)**

Lee & Gai & Naruto: **(gulp)** OO

Akatsuki: **(lock them in the chamber of torture for whole chapter)**

**(laugh at the girly screams)**

Kazumi: Next review peoples!!

* * *

From Better Man:

Iruka

Worse nightmare you had?

Favorite student?

Hidan

Hey look a distraction!

(points and then pulls down Hidan's pants to reveal girly underwear)

Gaara

How do you feel being paired up with Naruto?

Iruka

Ugh..they keep pairing you with Kakashi in fanfiction.

I dare you to host the next chapter.

I dare you to sing any song you want.

Why do you seem timid and shy at times?

Worse advice you got a girl?

How many times does Kakashi tries to get you to read Icha Icha paradise?

Ino

I dare you to wear spandex for a whole chapter.

* * *

Iruka: Having to grade homework for 12 hours straight. **(shudders)**

I don't pick favorite students, I care about them all.

Kazumi: Hey!! Are those my panties!?

Hidan: Uh… No!! I was not looking through your underwear and wearing them to mess with you!!

Kazumi: Why you little shithead!! **(chases after him with bat)**

Gaara:** (right eye twitches)** ……. Disturbed…….

Iruka: Uh…. Weird….. **(face turns red at the mention of that)**

Uh….. I can't host…. Kazumi will kill me. **(shakes in fear)**

Ok…. Um… A B C D E F G, H I J K L M N O P, Q R S T UV, W X Y, and Z, now I know my ABC's, next time won't you sing with me.

Kazumi: Creepy beyond belief.e.o

Akatsuki: Agreed.e.o

Iruka: Eh heh…** (sweat drops, rubbing back of head embarrassedly)**

I don't know why I'm like that, I guess I was born that way….

I don't take advice. I'm fine on my own. **(blushes)**

Yes, he has tried, sometimes succeeding, sometimes failing. Mostly failing…..

Ino: Spandex?! Ew!! No way!!

Kazumi: **(forces Ino into a spandex suit, exactly like Lee's)**

Ino: NOOOOOO!! **(faints from ugly outfit) **

Kazumi: AHAHAHAHAAAA!!

Next!!

* * *

From Akira Phoenix & Hikami Haruda:

Akira glomps Itachi.

Itachi: vein in forehead

Akira: Oh get over it honey.

Itachi's eye twitches.

Hikami: Ah..poor itachi. I think Kisame has gone nuts but then again, Hidan doesn't look any better.

Akira: Who cares? It's time to torment them.

Hikami sticks headphones on Itachi and they are superglued. She blindfolds Itachi, ties his hands together and he is forced to listen to Britney Spears which causes him to scream like a girl and since he is blindfolded, he crashes into anything in sight.

Akira gives Hikami a high-five.

Akira: Makes me feel sorry for him.

Hikami: Better him than us.

Akira: Yeah. Why didn't we do it to Hidan?

Hikami: I dare Kakashi to hypnotize Hidan to not swear and act like a pimp.

Hikami laughs and steals Kakashi's mask but he had another under neath.

Kakashi: And they say i'm not prepared.

Akira: Hmm..I dare Kidomaru to get Orochimaru into trouble and yes, you have to do it.

Hikami: I dare Kabuto to...cut the next reviewer's hair.

Akira: What?

Hikami: I bet you Karime or Karin might get it.

Akira: We will see.

* * *

Itachi:** (slams into a wall and falls over unconscious)** X/.\X

Kakashi: Um…. Kay. **(does as dared)**

Hidan: Agh!! DX

Kazumi: O.O

Hidan: **(suddenly a puff of smoke appears and is now in a pimp suit)** Where's my money?

Akatsuki: O.O HOLY SHIT!!

Kazumi: Snap out of it!!** (slaps Hidan back to his senses)**

Hidan: Huh?! Wuh!? What the fuck happened?!

Kakuzu: You were hypnotized into a pimp that doesn't swear.

Hidan: That's kind of fucking impossible. Pimps fucking swear no matter what.

Kazumi: Well ya became a pimp anyways.e.o

Hidan: Damn!! **(does a ritual for forgiveness)**

Akatsuki(Except Hidan): **(sweat drops)**

Kidomaru: Ok… But if I get harmed…. I'm suing you. -.-

**(tricks Orochimaru into getting into a room full of pot and police catch him, sending him to jail)**

Kazumi: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Kabuto: I don't know how to cut hair. **(sweat drops, laughing embarrassedly, still holding Blaze)**

Everyone(Except Kabuto): **(gasp)** O.O

Kazumi: You suck, you know? -.-

Kabuto: **(sweat drops)** But I'll try anyways. **(grins hopefully)**

Kazumi: Next!!

* * *

From Akira Tomyei:

(gets attacked by Kabuto and he ties her up because he was dared to cut someone's hair by some reviewer.)

Itachi

I dare you to scare Tobi.

I dare you to torment Sasuke for 2 whole chapters.

Pein

I dare you to get the Akatsuki in a humliating situation.

I dare you to get Deidara on Punk'd.

* * *

Kabuto: **(grins evilly)** I promise it won't look sooo bad.** (holds up a pair of scissors)**

Kazumi: Bad Kabuto!! **(smacks him away and unties Akira)**

Kabuto: Ow…. **(frowns and picks Blaze back up and walks off)**

Itachi:** (Kazumi had taken the blind fold off and had super glue solvent, removing the headphones, to his great relief)** Tobi is scared of his own shadow, I don't need to do anything at all…..

I can't……. Sasuke's tied up at the moment. **(smirks at the thumping noise from in a trunk he's sitting on)**

Pein: Eh….. Ok…. **(makes a hand sign where everyone, except himself, are in elf costumes)**

BUWHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAAA!! **(lightening and thunder)**

Akatsuki(Except Konan & Pein): HOLY SHIT!! DX

Pein & Konan: LMAO!!

Pein: **(puts Deidara on Punk'd)**

Deidara: NOOOOOO!! **(foams at mouth and faints)** X0\\\)

Kazumi: HA!!

Next!! **(laughing)**

* * *

From Kasakura Maskai:

Kazumi

Marry Kakuzu

Azuma

i know you are the Hokage's son. Why did you have to die? Were you a coward and what did you think as you were dying? I mean you had a kid with Kurenai and (starts chewing Asuma out)

Sakura

I dare you to sing 4am in the morning.

I dare you to give up Sasuke and date...Lee for this chapter only. Besides, he's more nicer than Sasuke and doesn't ignore you.

Temari

I dare you to kiss Shikamaru and make sure that he does not escape.

(gets a chibiray gun and shoots Shikamaru with it)

Shikamaru

Was your mom that scary?

* * *

Kazumi & Kakuzu: WHAT!? **(both faces turn red in super blushes)**

Akatsuki(Except Kakuzu & Kazumi) **(snicker)**

Deidara & Kisame: **(quickly handcuff Kazumi and Kakuzu together)**

Kakuzu: WTF!?

Kazumi: O.O!? **(face turns red in a blush)**

Pein: Do you, Kakuzu, take Kazumi as your lawfully wedded wife?

Kakuzu: O.O ……. **(in stunned silence, face deep red)**

Pein: I'll take that as a yes anyway. **(evil grin)**

Do you, Kazumi, take Kakuzu as your lawfully wedded husband?

Kazumi: O.O….. UH!? ER!! **(faints, face red with deep blush)**

Kakuzu: **(quickly catches her, still stunned)**

Pein: I guess we'll have to delay that for a moment… Our host is unconscious. We need someone to replace her at the moment.

Tobi: OOH!! OOH!! PICK TOBI!! **(waves hand frantically)**

Pein: **(sighs)** Fine Tobi. You can be host until Kazumi wakes up.

Tobi: Yay!!

Assuma: ……………. **(hides from being chewed out)** I'm dead for Kami's sake!! Leave me be!! How was I supposed to know I was going to die!?

Sakura: **(finally got the killer bunny off face**) Phwew…. I already did that once. To bug Naruto. **(grins)**

I'm sorry, I just can't date Lee. His eyebrows scare the crap out of me. O.O

Lee: **(sniffles)**

Temari: Okay. **(grin evilly) (tackles Shikamaru and kisses him, keeping him pinned so he can't escape) (gets off him after a minute)**

Shikamaru: **(gasp)** Yay!! Freedom!! (**gets turned into a chibi)** Oh great, how troublesome. -.-

Yes, my mom is that scary.

Tobi: Tobi says it's time for the next review!!

* * *

From Kimakowa Niska:

(steals Iruka's clothes and leaves him with just his pants and shoes)

IrukaI

dare you and Kabuto to fight against each other in a battle of wits.

Itachi

You and Hidan..do your momma jokes.

Kisame

I dare you to get a make over.

Kiba

I dare you to make out with Ino.

SakuraI

dare you to date Naruto next chapter and you cannot hit him or be a jerk to him.

Gai, Asuma, Ebisu & Jiri..how ever you spelled pervy sage name.I dare the four of you to sing Macho man by the Village people.

* * *

Iruka: Gah!! My shirt!! **(face turns red with embarrassment)**

Naruto: **(snickers)**

Iruka: **(gets another shirt and put sit on)** Ok. We'll play chess.

Kabuto: **(nods)**

(both Iruka and Kabuto get into a game of chest that won't end till the next chapter)

Itachi: Your momma jokes aren't kind of my thing.

Hidan: You're just afraid I'll beat ya, you little girly pansy shit.

Itachi: **(glares)** You're on punk!!

Hidan: Oh yeah, yo momma soooo short, when she stepped off the fucking edge of a side walk, all you could hear was, " AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Itachi: Well, yo momma is soooo fat, when she went to the beach, all the whales sung, " We are family! Even though you're bigger than me!"

Hidan: Well, yo momma is soo fucking old- (Pein interrupts yelling: " SHUT THE FUCK UP!!")

Itachi & Hidan: Yes Leader. O.O

Kisame: I don't need one. **(scowls)**

Kiba: Eh…. No thanks. She's still in a comma anyway. She's not my type either.

Sakura: **(huffs)** Fine!!

Gai & Assuma & Ebisu & Jiriaya: No thanks…… **(sweat drops)**

Tobi: Next review please!! **(turns chibi with sparkly eye)**

* * *

From Akari Makari:

Iruka

I dare you to speak out your inner thoughts for a whole chapter.

Kakashi

I dare you to sing "Rollercoaster" by Major Maker.

Ino

I dare you to sing "Pretty mind" by Jakalope.

Ebisu

I dare you to yell at Hidan until he goes deaf.

Kurenai

I dare you to beat up Asuma.

* * *

Iruka: Um….. Busy. **(still playing chess with Kabuto)**

Kakashi: Uh…… No?

Ino: **(still in comma and can't do anything)**

Ebisu: Uh….. **(looks at Hidan nervously)**

Hidan: He won't do it….. If he knows what's fucking good for him. **(glares at him with scythe raised at the ready)**

Kurenai: No, because I love him. -.-

Tobi: Ooh!! Another one!!

* * *

From Sonar:

Kabuto

(her cheeks are red as Kabuto was behind her and of course, he took her hair tie)

I dare you and Iruka to switch clothes for this chapter only.(feels Kabuto playing with her hair?)

Worse rumor you heard about yourself? (same question to Tobi, Deidara, Itachi & Iruka)

(Naruto hands her a photo of that kiss and is tempted to get him if Kabuto doesn't stop her. Seconds later, Naruto's jacket is on fire due to Kabuto sticking a few explosive tags on the jacket)(rests against Kabuto)

Now I'm curious what you might have in mind for me. By the way, nice job on getting Naruto.(Kabuto takes her offguard again and ...insert what happens next here.)

Iruka

That's probably a good thing because I always find older characters cute. (blush)

By the way, I think Naruto is posting pictures of that kiss we had around the village.(Iruka finds a picture hanging in front of his face and he's blushing wondering why he had to be tormented)

I dare you to play a friendly prank on Naruto.

I dare you to reveal your dream job.

Shino

I'm a fan of yours too and you got plenty of them.

How many times do you get asked about your eyes?

How hard is it to have all those bugs in your body?

If they were all removed, would you die or what would happen?

When getting them at a young age, did you cry?

How many times have you had your bugs attack someone because they stepped on some bugs.

Is there any bug you find scary?

Worse nightmare?

* * *

Kabuto: **(chuckles at Naruto having his jacket on fire)** No problem.

Eh... Me and Iruka are fine with our clothing.

**(takes her off guard with a kiss on the cheek)**

Everyone(except Kabuto & Kazumi): O.O!!

Kazumi: **(still out)**

Iruka: **(grins) (tricks Naruto into eating super spicy ramen that burns his tongue) **

My dream job is what I have already. Being a teacher. .

Shino: Hmm… Nice to have a fan.

I get asked about eyes a lot.

It's not uncomfortable, if that's what you're asking.

No, I wouldn't die, unless I was on a mission, I would die if I didn't have a defense.

No, I didn't cry when I got them.

Twice I have attacked someone for that.

No, there is no bug that scares me.

My worst nightmare is to fail my teammates….

Tobi: Wow, Tobi is surprised at how long this chapter is. O. )

Next review please. O . )

* * *

From Bunny:

Walks up behind Hidan and pokes him in the back with a tranq dart. When unconscious, jacks his Akatsuki cloak and puts it on.

Bunny-Hi guys!

Sees Itachi

Bunny- Hi SASUKE!

Hidan Groans

Hidan- What the hell just happened?

Bunny- Damn, should of used a bigger dose.

Hidan- Why the are you wearing my cloak?

Bunny- Er, to let the wonderful readers with imagination to see your wonderful torso.

Dodges his attempt to get it back.

Runs over to get behind Kazumi yelling

Bunny- RAPIST! HIDAN'S IS TRYING TO RAPE ME!

...I dare The rapist, Mr.Weasel-chan, Tobi, and Kisame. To stay in a closet, with tons of sugar, for 4 hours.

Bunny-Ja!

* * *

Itachi: I am not Sasuke!! **(glares angrily)**

Kazumi: **(still unconscious)**

Hidan: I am not a rapist!!

Kakuzu: **(smacks him upside the head)** No raping people!!

Pein: Hey, Kakuzu, do you want to marry Kazumi or not?** (looks at him with determination)**

Kakuzu: O.O **(face is red in blush)** …….

Deidara: If Kazumi says yes, will you, un?

Kakuzu: Er……. O.O **(shifts uncomfortably, still holding Kazumi bridal style, face red)**

Pein: We'll take that as a yes. **(grins evilly)**

Kakuzu: -.- **(still blushing)** Grrrr!!

Hidan & Itachi & Kisame: NO!!

Tobi: Tobi is good on sugar, so no thank you.

To the next and last two reviews.

* * *

From GaaGaa4NarutoGuys:

Yay, you used my question. That was awesome.

* * *

Tobi: If Kazumi Senpai were awake, she'd say thank you.

Kazumi: **(slowly wakes up, sees that self is in Kakuzu's arms) (face turns bright red)** Meep!! O.O

Pein: Kazumi! You're awake! Do you, or do not want to marry Kakuzu? **(grins evilly)**

Kazumi: Er….. O.O **(face is redder)** Next review!!

* * *

Another from GaaGaa4NarutoGuys:

Hey, it's me again.

Anyways, this is fun, so I'm gonna ask more questions.

Deidara:My cousin wants to know if you were ever a girl? (crys anime tears)She also want's to know if you are interested in Sasori? (cry's even more anime tears.

Sasori:Did you know your eyes are very pretty? Really, they are.

Itachi:Would you get annoyed if I continually poked you in the forehead like you used to do to Sasuke?

That's it for now. Byez.

* * *

Deidara: ……. For the last time!! I'm a guy, un!! And no, I'm not interested in Sasori!!

I can prove it!! **(kisses GaaGaa, just to make a point and also cause she called him hot, his way of saying thank you)**

Akatsuki(Except Deidara): O.O

Sasori: Er…… Thanks….. I think…..

Itachi: Yes, I would get annoyed. **(gives a warning glare)**

Kazumi: That's our end of this chapter. Hope ya enjoyed.

Akatsuki(Except Kakuzu): You haven't told us if you will marry Kakuzu or not!?

Kakuzu: Shut up!! If she doesn't , she doesn't!! It's not like she'd want to marry someone like me anyway.** (frowns under mask)**

Kazumi: **(blushes)** I don't know…… Maybe…. I dunno. I'm just really confused right now.

**(they are still handcuffed)**

Everyone(Except Kazumi of course): **(all look at her with anxious looks, waiting for her answer)**

**

* * *

**

To be continued……

ZOMG!! Me marry Kakuzu!? I dunno what to do!! Do I say yes?! What do you people think? Should I say yes or not?

Give me your opinions if I should or not if you feel like it when you review to ask questions. I'm really confused. Should I marry him? **(blushes)** See you next chapter…. O.O


	8. CH7: The Tension Is Building!

* * *

Kazumi: Zomg!! I'm soooo sorry readers. I had seriously bad writer's block and also I've started high school now. O.O

Everyone: **(still staring at her intently)**

Kazumi: Stop it!! -.-;

Deidara: But we wanna know, un!

Kazumi: I don't know……. I'll give my answer later and also I have news.

Itachi: Hn?

Kazumi: I brought back up for the rest of the chapters who is also now a new member!! XD

**(lights suddenly shine to reveal Chuugo)**

Chuugo: Hiya guys!!

**(stares at Kazumi intently)**

Kazumi: Not you too! D8

Chuugo: Come on, just answer the question!!

Kazumi: Later!! First review!

* * *

From manic the hedeghog:

hello my questions are... um...

itachi: how is that you come across (to me) as less of an than Sauske? or is it just my secret way of saying i like you more than sasuke? is your brother (from what you have seen) in love with Naruto?

tobi: (glomps) me love you tobi

dei: do you mind me calling you dei? can i have some fo your most amazing exploding clay? i am figureing give a naruto some exploding clay and see what happens (i just so happen to be a naruto cosplayer with a sister who cosplays you!)

um thats all i can think of right now so bibi (glomps itachi nii-san)

* * *

Itachi: ……. Weird…… And how the hell should I know?

Tobi: Yay!! Tobi's loved a lot! **(hugs back)**

Chuugo: Aww. I wanna glomp someone.** (pouty face)**

Kazumi: Go glomp your boyfriend Hidan.

Chuugo: Good idea!! **(grins)**

Hidan: Not her fucking boyfriend and uh oh. O.O

Chuugo: **(glomps Hidan)** Hida-kun!!

Hidan: Shit!! **(falls over)**

Deidara: I don't mind….. And sure, I bet he blows himself up, hm. **(grins evilly)**

Itachi: **(glomped)** Dang it! The fan girls are out to get me!

Kazumi: Lol. Next review. **(notices Kakuzu staring at her funny)** O.O

Kakuzu: **(quickly looks away, blushing under mask)**

Kazumi: Urm…next review please!

* * *

From swordfanatic:

(sighs) i feel like the only guy here that has done a review...i guess i'll get started

first i have a question for all the akatsuki members, i was wondering who are virgins and what girl they would like to be with

Hidan: this is for killing asuma (kicks jashin in the nuts)

Kakuzu: what would you do for a penny?

sasori and deidara: GET ALONG, you guys are annoying, find something that is both fleeting and enternal!! like a picture of a fireworks festival?!

kisame: (breaks your sword in half) i dont like you (walks off)

itachi: why dont you tell us the real reason u let sasuke live (looks at him giving him a look that says i know the truth)

Pein: (kicks you in the nuts) thats for killing pervy sage

konan: (smirks) want to go out sometime?

tobi: …(gives tobi a 5 pound chocolate bar)

* * *

Akatsuki: …….No one's a virgin. -.-

Kazumi & Chuugo: We are!! And maybe the other new members.

Hidan: Why the fuck ask such a stupid question?! D:

Kakuzu: …….. **(still staring at Kazumi)**

Kazumi:** (sweat drops)**

Hidan: You can't fucking kick Jashin in the balls!! He's in Heaven and you can only go there if you're fucking dead and were a devout Jashinist!! **(growls, glaring at the reviewer with murderous intentions) **

Chuugo: You're cute when you're mad. **(grins, still clinging to him)**

Hidan: **(blushes and glares at the ground)**

Kakuzu: I'd probably just swindle you out of that penny. **(shift eyes)**

**(returns to staring at Kazumi)**

Kazumi: I feel stalked.

Everyone: **(all staring at Kazumi)**

Kazumi: **(sweat drops a billion times)**

Sasori & Deidara: O.O ……… Yeesh(un)….

Kisame: My sword!! **(sniffles)** T.T

Kazumi: **(fixes his sword)** There ya go Jaws.

Kisame: Thank you, thank you, thank you!! **(hugs Kazumi in a rib cracking force)**

Kazumi: e.O Can't……..breathe!! **(gasps)**

Kisame: Eh heh, sorry. **(lets go, turning away to guard sword)**

Itachi: When you fly up a monkey's ass.

Everyone(Except Itachi): O.O

Pein: **(voids the kick)** Ha, you cannot defeat my evilnessness!! **(laughs manically)**

Konan: Sorry, but I won't if you hurt my fellow members. I also don't even know you. **(frowns)**

Tobi: Yay!! Chocolate!!** (starts nibbling on it)**

Kazumi: **(still being stared at)** Er…next!

* * *

From Vampire Shinobi:

You should so marry him It would be SO Kawaii (cute)I got some questions/things to do:

(bites every guy member's neck and sucks blood) m blood anyway...

Konan i dare you to show your fangirl side to Pein.Have you ever gone crazy because you were the only girl?

Pein: Why do you have 6 bodies?Is it true you used them to (insert something perverted here) to Konan?

Itachi: I dare you to flick your brother in the head with the strength thing Lady Hokage does.Heres some Pocky if you do (opens a door from nowhere showing stacks of pocky including super rare ones) you were always my favorite and no i am not a fangirl (glomps Itachi anyway)

HEY TOBI(waves) Do you have a spilt persona? What is you favorite candy? (gives him a phone) Hold down the 1 and order as much candy you want, say its from Vamp they will know who its from...

Well thats all for me sry for long review this is my first on this Fic

"PS: Can i Join Akatsuki? I wanna be with Itachi and Tobi and i dont know ninja but i got katanas that set on fire(swings flaming katana at Hidan, who runs, and runs after him)Well i am off cya!

* * *

Kazumi: **(face turns red, everyone still staring at her intently)**

I'll give my answer later!!

Akatsuki(All Males): Ouch!! **(all grimace)**

Konan: O.O

Kazumi & Chuugo: Come on. You know you want to do it. X3

Konan: …… **(sighs)** ….. Fine.

Pein: O.o

Konan: **(gives a fangirl squeal and glomps Pein**) Zomg I lurves joo!!

Pein: Hup!? **(falls over)**

Kazumi & Chuugo: Awwwww. XD

Pein: **(laying on the ground with Konan clinging to him)** Um…I have six bodies so I don't have use my real body and make sure it doesn't get harmed.

And no, I've never done anything perverted to Konan!! **(scowls)**

Konan: Ew….. **(blushes)**

Itachi: Deal!! **(flicks Sasuke in the forehead with enough force to send him flying to the South Pole)**

Sasuke: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Itachi: **(runs into the room full of pocky and starts eating after getting glomped)**

Kazumi: Wow, never get in the way of Itachi and his pocky. O.O

Chuugo: Agreed. O.O

Tobi: **(waves back)**

Tobi doesn't know. **(shifty eyes behind mask)**

Yay, free candy!! Tobi thanks you!! **(gives Vamp a big hug then begins ordering candy)**

Kazumi & Chuugo: Yes, you can join!! **(Kazumi gives Vamp a cloak while Chuugo gives her a ring)**

Kazumi: Next review!

* * *

From GaaGaa4NarutoGuys:

... wow, never expected to be kissed by Deidara, but OK! Fine with me. - Sasori, that was a compiment, and your welcome... Itachi, I don't think I will be poking you in the forehead anytime soon... (except for in another fanfic where I'm drunk...)

Me thinks you should marry Kakuzu! :)

Now for another question.

Sasori: Why did you turn yourself into a puppet? Did it hurt? Oh, and what do you think of Sakura? Just wondering.

* * *

Deidara: I know you enjoyed it, yeah. **(grins)**

Sasori: I know it was, it just took me off guard a little and thanks.

Itachi: Good, it's for your own safety. **(munching on pocky)**

Kazumi: **(turns super red)**

Chuugo: See!! Another person says you should!! **(grins hopefully)**

Kazumi: But what about Kakuzu? Does he want to marry me?

Everyone(Except Kakuzu of course):** (look at him intently)**

Kakuzu: ……. I'll give my answer when Kazumi does. **(looks away)**

Everyone(Except Kakuzu): **(look at Kazumi)**

Kazumi: I'll give my answer later dammit!! **(still red faced)**

Sasori: I wanted to become true art and to live forever. Yes, it hurt….a lot. I despise her. She can die in a horrible and bloody death.

**(somewhere in Konoha, Sakura sneezes. " Great, either I got a cold or someone's talking about me," Sakura says, rolling her eyes)**

Kazumi: Next!!

* * *

From DingDong NutCase:

Kurenai

Do you think Asuma was like his father and died when people needed him the most?

Asuma

(chases him with a flaming broom for dying on Kurenai)

Iruka

(decides to torment him by sticking him in a room full of spiders)

Itachi

I dare you to torment Naruto and kill the teletubbies.

* * *

Kurenai: Yes, very much. **(sighs sadly)**

Assuma: Ah!! It's not my fault!! Blame Hidan!! **(runs away)**

Hidan: Oh fuck you. **(gives the middle finger)**

Chuugo: **(giggles and clings to Hidan's arm)**

Hidan: **(scowls and blushes)**

Iruka: Ew…creepy…** (twitches)** e.O

Itachi: Gaara already killed the teletubbies and Naruto is the hospital because he nearly killed himself by messing with Deidara's clay.

Deidara: **(grins)**

Kazumi: Hmm…. Next review.

* * *

From Akiha Hakare:

Gaara

Gaara need a hug?

Gaara, I dare you to torment Sasuke.

Ebisu

I dare you to torment Naruto by tying him up and making him listen to Britney Spears music.

(captures Naruto and ties him up and places a gag on)

Iruka

(gets tackled and finds his pants missing)

TenTen

I dare you to give Lee a make over.

* * *

Gaara: Do I need a hug? …… Maybe….. And Sasuke isn't here at the moment. He's at the South Pole.

Ebisu: Heh, heh. **(grins evilly, torturing Naruto with Brittany Spears music in a sound proof room with the door closed, safe from it by wearing ear muffs)**

Naruto: NOOOOOOOOO!! **(K.O.'D)** X0X

Iruka: **(face turns tomato red)** Gah, my pants!!

TenTen: **(tackles Lee, shaving off his brows and cutting his hair short)**

Lee: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!! **(K.O.'D)** X0X

Kazumi & Chuugo: Lmao. XD

Next review!!

* * *

From Kasakura Maskai:

Ebisu

(glomps ebisu)

I dare you and gai to have a battle of skills.

Itachi

I dare you to call yourself weasel for a whole chapter.

Iruka

(steals his hair tie)

I dare you to sing "I wanna love you"

I dare you to hug the next reviewer.

I dare you to prank Naruto.

* * *

Ebisu: **(glomped)** Urm…. Can't. **(points at Gai whom is grieving over Lee's loss of eyebrows and hair)**

Itachi: Over my dead body. **(huffs, still munching on pocky)**

Iruka: Noo! My hair tie!! **(hair falls down)**

What next? My underwear!?

I'll do the hug but I can't do the others. **(puts on another pair of pants and ties hair up with a new hair tie)**

Kazumi: Man, when did it go from just asking the Akatsuki questions to asking everyone in the show? O.O

Chuugo: I have noooo idea. O.O

Tobi:** (finishes chocolate and gives a satisfied sigh)** Tobi's happy.

Kazumi: Next!!

* * *

From Sonar:

Iruka

What is it with you getting your clothes stolen?It's bad enough I still think of the kiss we had several chapters back.

Favorite book to read?

Funniest answer you ever read on someone's homework or test?

(sees a spider and jumps on Iruka)

Sorry. Got a fear of small spiders.

Was there ever a jutsu you were not so good at?

When you were younger, were you a prankster?

Any interesting stories to tell?

Any insecurities you have about your body or dating?

(spots Naruto trying to take a photo and tries to go after him if both Iruka and kabuto did not hold her back.

Sonar: Let me at him! He's so not going to get away with this)

Sasuke

I dare you to set Naruto on fire.

Shino

(hands Shino his jacket)

I found your jacket on Shikamaru.

How many bugs are in your body? (give an estimated guess)

Kabuto

(is still resting against Kabuto)

Shikamaru

(shoots Shikamaru with a gun and he returns to normal)

You do look cute as a kid too.

Itachi

Fangirl on your leg!

Ino

I dare you to use the mind transfer jutsu on Iruka and put him in an awkward situation with Kabuto.

* * *

Iruka: I know what you mean. **(blushes)**

My favorite book? Haven't found one yet, all books are good to me.

Funniest answer would be flying monkeys with blueberry pie. **(chuckles)**

It's ok. Everyone has fears. **(smiles sympathetically)**

I'd say Taijutsu is not my forte.

Yes, when I was younger. I was the class clown like Naruto.

Hmm….. My life is an interesting story so there's not much to tell.

Insecurities? Not really.

Naruto: **(had escaped music torture and quickly hides behind Kakashi)** O.O

Sasuke:** (got back from South Pole, being followed by a penguin)** -.- Sure.

**(flames Naruto's ass)**

Naruto: Aiyyyyyeeeee!! **(drops on the ground and starts rolling around)**

Shino: Thanks and about 9000 or more.

Kabuto: **(smiles)**

Shikamaru: Thanks, but being a little kid is troublesome.

Itachi: AAAAAHHHH!! **(runs around in circles, flailing arms, trying to shake fangirl off)**

Kazumi: Lol.

Ino: Um. No, because I don't want to get in trouble. O.O

Chuugo: Next review!!

* * *

From TakeTheseChains:

A question for any of them:Do you play Guitar Hero or Rock Band, or both? If yes, do you play on Easy, Medium, Hard, or Expert, and what's your best song?

Kazumi: Ooh!! I play Guitar Hero!! But I'm not saying level because I forget. :3

Deidara: I Guitar Hero on medium, best song is Freebird.

Kisame: Guitar Hero, Woman on hard.

Hidan: Guitar Hero, fucking hard, War Pigs.

Kazumi: Next.

* * *

From BrokenHearted-Ninja:

Hey guys!! (waves) Did you know they sell pocky at walmart??O.O(eats chocolate pocky i bought at epcot)

All: i dont if i asked this or not but wats ur favorite song?And why do you punk Sakura so much? Why not punk TenTen(no offence)or Neji or someone else?

Sasori: I read on a website called Naruto kun that your partner was oro-teme before Deidara. Is it true and how was it being his partner?

kazumi: Yeah! Go for it marry him already! (cheers)

Tobi: Yeah tobi!! (glomps/hugs)Whos ur favorite reviewer and akatsuki memeber?? (gives chocolate)

Pein: You should marry Konan!! You and Kakuzu can have a joint wedding!!

So now four girls in Akatsuki?

Itachi: So how did the whole sasuke in a pink bathrobe and glaring at mr.squeak a.k.a rubber duck pics go?...OO No

(jumps behind you and knocks Zekarin(a.k.a ur biggest fangirl) who was about to tie you up and do who know wat with you.)

You should keep an eye on her AND she likes Itasasu!

Gaara:How do you feel being paired with Sasuke? And do you find it fair ur the uke in that couple!!

Its just WRONG!!Ew!! .

All: Whos ur favorite knonoha/sun girl? You must answer!

ehh...must go now...going to go annoy justin my neighbor..i wonder if he'll have another breakdown...naw..(waves)

* * *

Itachi: Pocky!! **(had finally gotten rid of fangirl) **

Akatsuki: Um, check earlier chapters(hmm). We think we said them(un).

We punk Sakura because she killed Sasori(me)(un).

Sasori: It's true, he was my partner before Deidara. It was very creepy.e.O

Kazumi: **(turns red again)** …… **(everyone's staring at her again) **Later! I'll give my answer later!! **(scowls)**

Tobi: **(hugs back)** Uh…. Tobi can't decide. Tobi likes everyone!! Yay!! More chocolate!! **(begins nibbling on it)**

Pein: Good idea! **(kneels before Konan)**

Everyone(Except Pein): O.O

Pein: Konan…. Will you marry me?

Konan: **(gasps)** Yes!! **(hugs him)**

Pein: Perfect!! Now we can have a joint wedding when Kazumi and Kakuzu finally realize they want to marry each other!! **(hugs back)**

Konan: Yes, perfect!! **(grins)**

Kazumi & Kakuzu: **(blushing madly)**

Chuugo: Nope. Now there are six! **(grins happily, snuggling Hidan)**

Hidan:** (scowls blushing)** I'm beginning to lose the fucking feeling in my arm.

Chuugo: Deal with it. **(grins)**

Itachi: Thank you and it went great, Everyone was laughing their asses off. **(smirks)**

Ew…… ItaSasu…. **(shudders)**

Gaara: **(twitches)** Ew….. Ew….. Ew…. Ew…..** (keeps repeating)**

Kazumi: I think you traumatized him. O.O

Akatsuki: No one. -.-

**(all wave bye to Broken)**

Kazumi: Next and final review!

* * *

From DesertsDemon:

TOBI I LOVE U! -huggles- :3

itachi- u took Gaara-kun's bear U SHALL PAY!! -chases after itachi with metal bat-

sasori- y is ur hair like blood red?

deidara- y do u hate tobi?

hidan- ur -- awsome!! but itachi is more smexy then u :P

pein- urjust to cool for a question

zetsu- why r u a plant O.o?

konon- y in hells name do u have paper jutsu!?love u guys

* * *

Tobi: Yay!! Tobi's loved!! **(hugs back, had finished eating chocolate)**

Itachi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! **(runs away)**

Sasori: Because I was born with it.

Deidara: Because he's mega annoying, hmm. **(scowls)**

Hidan: Yes I'm awesome and fuck no!! Weasel boy isn't hotter then me!! **(growls)**

Chuugo: I say Hidan's Waaaaay hotter. **(grins)**

Hidan: **(blushes scowling at the ground)**

Pein: I know. **(holding Konan's hand, grinning)**

Zetsu BH & WH: Because we were bornt that way.-.-

Konan: Because it's just my special ability.** (smiles softly, looking at Pein)**

Akatsuki: Thanks.

Kazumi: Well, that's all the reviews for this chapter. **(sighs)**

Everyone(Except Kazumi): **(stare at Kazumi intently)**

Kazumi: Gah!! D8

Chuugo: Come on!! Just tell us!! **(whines)**

Hidan: Yeah, fucking tell us!!

Tobi: Tobi wants to know!!

Kazumi: Grrr!! I'm going to make you suffer for bugging me about it and will just make you wait till next chapter!! **(scowls)**

Everyone(Except Kazumi & Kakuzu who's very quiet at the moment): **(groan)**

Kazumi: Bye readers, see ya next chapter!! **(waves)**

* * *

Hmmm…. Cliffie!! Can you sense the tension? I can. More reviews and blah, blah, blah. Just wait till next chapter for my answer!! I do not own any Naruto characters, they belong to Kishimoto. I only own Kazumi, myself, and Chuugo belongs to my friend.

To be continued……


	9. CH8: ZOMG! Interesting News!

Kazumi: How many times do I have to say it? I have freaking school!! That's why it's taking me a while to update!! **(vein pops)**

Chuugo: O.O Calm down Kazumi.

Everyone Else: O.O

Kazumi: Fine, just go to the first review now.** (has an angry aurora that scares everyone off)**

* * *

From Akiha Hakare:

Iruka

8watches as Iruka tries to keep the fangirls away and she falls down laughing)

Hey Iruka, is that your underwear on a flag pole?

Have you ever had a pet?

Genma

Any strange moments for you?

Has tsunade ever thrown anything at you and Kogetsu?

Weirdest thing to ever come out of someone's mouth.

Hidan

(sets you on fire)

Asuma

I dare you to hug Gai and make it really awkward.

Gai

I dare you to sing really loud.-Akiha Hakare

* * *

Iruka: O.O Oh snap!! **(quickly gets them down and hides them)**

Yeah, a pet gerbil named Larry when I was 12, he got eaten by my neighbor's cat. -.-

Genma: Yes, many, but I don't want to divulge. **(shudders)**

A lot of times, some even very difficult for me. O.O

The weirdest thing…. Too many to make a true decision. -.-

Hidan: WTF!? **(drops down and starts rolling around)**

Chuugo: **(dumps a bucket of water on him)** Yeesh, what's with all the Hidan haters?

Kazumi: I has no idea. **(still has a dark aurora)**

Chuugo: **(sweat drops)**

Assuma: No thanks. **(sweat drops)**

Gai: For the youthfulness!!

**(deep breath)**

OH I'M NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR TODAAAAY! OH I'M NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR TODAAAY!! NOT THAT CARE ABOUT MY UNDERWEAR, NOT THAT I REALLY CARE!! OH IIII'M NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR TOOODAAAAAYY!!

Kazumi: **(smacks Gai on the head with a bat)** Stfu!

Gai: **(K.O.'D)** X0X

Chuugo: Lol. Next review please.

* * *

From Akara Uchida:

Iruka

I dare you to have a out of character moment.

Tobi

I dare you to marry the next reviewer.

* * *

Iruka: Ok, but only this once.

**(bitch slaps Kakashi)** Die fag!!

Kakashi: **(sniffles)** T.T

Iruka: I'm sorry Kakashi, I didn't mean it. O.O

Kakashi: April Fools!! XD

Kazumi: It's not April Fool's Day. -.-

Kakashi: Oh right. O.o

Tobi: But what if the next reviewer is mean to Tobi?

Kazumi: It's ok Tobi, you don't have to do it.

Chuugo: Yeah, you can marry whomever you want.

Tobi: Thank you Kazumi and Chuugo Senpai. :3

Kazumi: No prob and next review.

* * *

From Calida Haruda:

Orochimaru

Are you a transgender person?

Kabuto

(poke)

(handcuffs Sonar to Iruka & Kabuto)

Iruka

Who do you think would be hopeless in romance?

* * *

Orochimaru: Why am I here again?

Kazumi: Because if you don't answer the question. I'll beat yo pedo ass. -.-

Orochimaru: **(gulps)** Um, no. Once I get a new body, it instantly turns male if female, the true face stays the same but the gender changes.

Kazumi: Thank you and good bye.** (punts Orochimaru to Pluto)**

Kabuto: **(poked)**

**(handcuffed)** WTF!? O.O

Iruka: Um…wtf? And I most likely think Naruto and Sakura is hopeless, Sakura just likes Sasuke more. -.-

Chuugo: Next!

* * *

From Sonar:

Iruka

(chuckles and blushes)

Worse punishment you ever gave a student?

(glares at Naruto)

I would actually kiss you again. (blushes)

Yes, I had some more dreams about you but luckily, they are staying clean for now.

Ever been forced to do something you did not like?

What would you think would be a cruel joke?

Strangest dream you ever have?

Ever broke any alarm clocks?

What does happen if you ever yelled in class?

(tries to catch Iruka offguard but he catches her offguard and gets her from behind) Okay, you win, cutie.

I promise I will think of more questions for you soon.

Has Naruto ever humliated you?

TenTen

Do you think you should of been on the show much more?

Itachi

What's that purple dinosaur behind you? (points)

tobi

Meanest thing that you tried to do which ended up nice?

Who in all of Kohona would you want to fight?

Ebisu

Most strangest situation that you ever been stuck in?

Scariest experience?

* * *

Iruka: Worst punishment is a smack on the head. -.-

**(frowns at Naruto)**

**(blushes)**

Yes, having to fight Mizuki when I thought he was my friend, but he wasn't after all. (sighs sadly)

A cruel joke would be tricking someone into drinking a lot of liquid then locking all the bathrooms. O.O

I can't remember my strangest, I've had many.

Once, but I was sooo startled, I didn't know what I was thinking before it was too late, now I don't break my alarm clocks anymore.

Most of the morons would ignore me. **(sweat drops)**

**(chuckles)**

Yes, by gluing me to you, it was very humiliating. Not because of you, just being in that situation was quite embarrassing. -.-

TenTen: I dunno. Never thought about it. **(makes a thoughtful face)**

Itachi: Oh shit! Barney's come back to steal my pocky again!

**(runs and hides from him)**

Barney: I love you, you love me. I'm gonna kick your ass and steal all your pocky! :D

Everyone(Except Barney and Itachi): O.O

Tobi: Um…Tobi no remember. **(bows head ins shame)**

Tobi would want to fight Kakashi because of his Sharingan. :3

After that we can go get some cookies!! :D

Ebisu: Weirdest as when I accidently found myself in a room full of men in geisha outfits. O.O

Scariest was in one of the earliest chapters when one of the reviewers got everyone to torture me. -.-

Kazumi & Chuugo: Next review!!

* * *

From Sweet sweet Koneko-chan:

Hello

I think you guys remember me last chapter. I am Vampire, well not really that is my brothers account, but anyway now that i am in Akatsuki i wanna ask some questions.

Itachi: If you go out with me and/or loove me with all your heart i will give you all the pocky you want.

TOBI you all (BEEPING) AWESOME!

Kazumi: Just marry him damnit!

Same for you but to her Kakuzu

Hidan: can i have a scyth? they are so awesome!

well thats all

byebye

* * *

Itachi: I'll think it over. **(defending self and pocky from rampaging Barney)**

Tobi: Tobi doesn't know what that means but thanks. **(grins behind mask)**

Kazumi & Kakuzu: **(super blush)**

Chuugo: Do you wanna marry him or not?

Kazumi: **(growls at them all, showing sharp canine teeth)**

Everyone(Except Kazumi): O.O

Hidan: Sure, just make sure to watch where you fucking swing it. You might accidently fucking cut off someone's head that you care about. -.-

Chuugo: Next!

* * *

From VampireShinobi:

Hey peps. I know you guys met my sister cues she logged onto my account last time. I thought this would be stupid buts its funny so i got my own questions. OH AND I AM NOT A GIRL! I AM A GUY! ONLY THING TOKI GOT RIGHT WAS THAT I LIKE BLOOD(girls blood) AND TOBI IS AWESOME!

Zetsu: WHO THE HELL WERE YOUR PARENTS? Was it like a guy that LOVED plants or vise versa?

Kazumi: Wats with all the new girls i mean i thought it was all guys and konan in akatsuki? Also since there are so many new girls can i join? I know how to use a wide range of weapons.well thats all and if you give me a cup of your blood i can make you immortal! (MUWHAHAHAHAHA)

* * *

Everyone: Yeah, we know. -.-

Tobi: Yay! Tobi's awesome!

Zetsu WH: How do we respond to this one?

Zetsu BH: How the hell am I supposed to know? Ignore it?

Zetsu: Nah, let's just tell him.

Zetsu BH: **(sighs)** Fine.

Zetsu WH & BH: We were abandoned when were a baby and do not know of our parents or their whereabouts. -.-

Kazumi: There's a lot of girls cause we're trying to balance out the gender number scale.

Sure, you can join, but no hitting on the new girls if you can help it and it can't hurt to have one more dude. -.-

Chuugo: Lol. **(gives Vampire guy cloak and ring)**

Next review please.

* * *

From GaaGaa4NarutoGuys:

-, yesh Deidara, I enjoyed it. Lots

...I will not poke Itachi... Today...

Sasori, I agree completly. Sakura can die a gruesome death... And I dare you to kill her... I'll get the video camera, lol. XD

* * *

Deidara: Good. **(smiles)**

Itachi: Better not. **(still fighting off Barney)**

Sasori: I can't. -.- **(sweat drops)**

Kazumi won't let me.

Kazumi: Well duh!!

We need her in case anyone wants to ask her questions.

After that, you can kill her all you want.

Sasori: Okay. **(smiles happily)**

Sakura: **(gulp)** O.O

Chuugo: Ha, ha. Next review.

* * *

From DesertsDemon:

NO CHUUGO! ITACHI IS SMEXYER THEN HIDEN! :P-give tobi a cookie-

* * *

Chuugo: Nuh uh!! Hidan!! **(clings to Hidan's leg)**

Hidan: **(sweat drops)** -.-

Tobi: Yay! **(nibbles on cookie)**

Kazumi: Lol. Fangirls are crazy, no wonder I act weird. XD

Lol. Next review.

* * *

From Kawaii-Little-Neko:

HI

ZOMG DEIDARRA!(GLOMPS) X3 i love deidara

Pein: if i were too mabey just happen to slip and rip out one of ur peircings would u be mad at mee (BIG EYES)

Sasori: well when u get cut apart and u can put yourself back together what if u were put in a wood chipper would u still be able to assemble yourself?

Deidara: Will u goes onna date with me? (BIG EYES) i like to blow ( ) up too

Hidan: ive always wondered ... are you like albino u know u got sorta whiteish hair and pinkish red eyes

Itachi:... i cant think of a question for u so ill just leave u alone with some pocky ...

Zetsu: hm have pretty flowers ever grew on ur fly trap?

Tobi:if i locked u in a room with a peice of string and nothing else what would happen?

Kisame: were ur parents ever like ... how should i put this... shark feaks too? no offenceps

I WANNA BE APART OF THE AKATSUKI even tho im half cat -im very strong in taijutsu ninjutsu and genjutsu and good at blowin ( ) up AND I WANT DEIDARA lol (glomps deidara) MINE lol (snuggles next to deidara) - Sammy (KawaiiLittleNeko)

* * *

Deidara: **(glomped)** Wow and ya, another fan, yeah. XD

Pein: Maybe. -.- **(vein popping)**

Konan: Calm down Pein sweetie. **(reassuringly squeezes his shoulder)**

Pein: **(sighs)** Okay.

Sasori: I don't know. Never tried and probably never will.

Deidara: Sure, but you might have to fight other fangirls, un. O.O

Hidan: **(agitated sigh)** Yes, I'm a fucking albino.

Chuugo: Aww, Hidan needs a hug. **(hugs him)**

Hidan: -.- **(sweat drops and glares at the ground with a slight blush)**

Itachi: Thanks. **(finally escaped Barney whom is somewhere else, trying to find Itachi)**

Zetsu BH & WH: No. -.-

Tobi: Tobi would probably play with it until Tobi gets bored and turns it into String Man, hero of all Stringonians!! **(throws a fist in the air in a cheer)**

Everyone(Except Tobi): -.- **(sweat drops)**

Kisame: No and no offense taken. **(sighs)**

Kazumi: Sure. Here. **(gives her a cloak)**

Chuugo: **(gives her a ring)**

Deidara: Man, I just had to be too sexy, hmm. **(grins)**

Kazumi: **(rolls eyes)** Next.

* * *

From: manic the hedgehog:

we aren't out to get you itachi nii-san (making note once again that i am actually a naruto cosplayer not a sasu) we just love you got more questions:

itachi: why dont you know he is your brother you know him best and why is it weird that i think you are less of an ( ) than sasuke?

tobi: yes you are loved

(glomps again)

chuugo: you can glomp me

hidan: you make me giggle with your swearing

dei: woot thankies and we narus woudnt blow our selves up kyuubi will ensure that lol

author: can i have itachi nii-san? he can help me traumatise my sasuke plushie (evil grin)

dei: my sister says (cosplays you) woot i stole naru's exploding clay un yey thankies dei

* * *

Itachi: Because I am allowed. **(shifty eyes)**

Tobi: Yay!

Chuugo: Yay! **(glomps reviewer)** X3

Hidan: Hey!

Kazumi: Jealous someone else can get glomped by Chuugo? **(smirks)**

Hidan: F-Fuck no!! **(scowls, blushing slightly)**

Kazumi: Mhmm. **(smirks)**

Hidan: Um…. Thanks and no! I am not fucking jealous! **(glares, cheeks tinged a slight pink)**

Deidara: Lol.

Kazumi: No. Sorry, we still need him for questions.

Deidara: No prob.

Chuugo: Awww. Hidan likes me. **(no longer glomping reviewer)**

Hidan: N-No I fucking don't!

Kazumi: Yep, you do!

Hidan: You know fucking nothing! **(hides in a closet)**

Chuugo: **(sighs, smiling and shaking head jokingly)** Next review please.

* * *

From fallen angel 412:

HI!

Kazumi: MARRY.KAKUZU.NOW.DAMNIT.

Mr.Uchiha Genius:Answer the question correct and it'll rain Pocky.15273549498573654632 divided by the square root of 324785347568273879476387467568473+3784678564787-65448387456565+5634772743674364646346346 times 74569437503274637840?

Deidara: YEI! Me luvs u!! -glomps- Oh yah!me brudder thinks you are gay.

Pein & Konan:Congrats!DO YOU 2 KNOW HOW LONG I'VE BEEN WAITIN FOR YOU TO PROPOSE TO HER,YOU MORON!?-kicks Pein-

Hidan: -kicks to antartica with the penguins- I don't like you.

Tobi:-gives a bar of chocolate the size of England filled with caffeine-

* * *

Kazumi & Kakuzu: O.O

Everyone(Except Kazumi & Kakuzu): Do it! Do it!

Kazumi:** (glares at them with an evil aurora building)**

Everyone(Except Kazumi): O.O

Itachi: **(goes swirly eyed and faints)**

Everyone(Except Itachi): O.O **(sweat drops)**

Deidara: Wow, I'm just tooo popular for my own good, yeah. :3

**(growls)** Where's he at , at the moment? **(pulls out a wad of clay)**

Kazumi: **(smacks Deidara on the head with rolled up newspaper)** Bad! No attacking reviewers or their family.

Deidara: **(scowls and huffs)** Fine.

Pein: **(voided)** Yeesh, you don't have to beat me up for it! **(pouts)**

Konan:** (smiles and kisses his cheek)**

Pein: **(blushes slightly and smiles)**

Kazumi & Chuugo: Awww.

Hidan: **(hiding so instantly voids)** Ha! You fucking missed!

Tobi: Ooh!!

Kazumi: **(blows up the bar)** No!! No caffeine for you!!

Tobi: Awww. Okay. **(sighs)**

Chuugo: Next!

* * *

From Sweet sweet Koneko-chan:

Dang Kazumi you are taking forever to update!!

Well i am back again

Itachi: I now know EVERYTHING about you hehehe from your favorite pocky flavor to why you left Sasuke alive. And if you tell everyone i will give you more melon flavored pocky Ita-kun

Pein: Could you not take okasan? (Kyuubi) I can get you Jyuubi (ten-tails) instead. he is mean, h doesn't aprove my obsession with Ita-kun

TOBI I KNOW WHO/WHAT YOU ARE! And i can give you the advanced version of our space bending justu if you want it UCHIHA MADARAWell that is it for now (PS Can Join The Story line so i can be with Ita-Kun?)

* * *

Kazumi: One again! School dammit!!

Itachi: Grrr….. I can't. Even for that. **(hangs head dejectedly)**

Pein: But we can't skip numbers. We need them all. The ten tails would be nice, but we still need the Kyuubi.

Tobi: **(gasps)** Tobi's secret has been revealed!! To the bat ca- Tobi means Tobi Cave!! Dun, dun, dun!! (hides in Tobi Cave)

Kazumi: Sure, but we may need to discuss stuff and things like that. :3

Chuugo: Sooo…..

Kazumi: So what?

Chuugo: Do you want to marry Kakuzu?

Kazumi: **(frowns)**

Chuugo: Come on, just answer the freaking question. **(puppy eyes)**

Kazumi: **(sighs)** Fine…… I do. **(face turns bright red)**

Kakuzu: **(face turns bright red from behind mask)**

Hidan: Ha! I fucking knew it! **(out of hiding)**

Chuugo: Woo! Marriage time!

Kazumi: Wait! Kakuzu hasn't said if he wants to marry me back!

Pein: Well? **(looks at Kakuzu)**

Kakuzu: …….

**(walks up to Kazumi and wraps arms around her waist)**

Yeah, I wanna marry her.

Kazumi: **(face is blood red but smiles happily)**

Chuugo: Yay!!

Konan: To the church!

**(Pein, Konan, Kazumi, and Kakuzu would all leave off to get hitched to the ones they love then go off on their honeymoons)**

Chuugo: **(sniffs)** I love happy endings. **(wipes a tear of joy away)**

Hidan: Man, I never fucking understand girls and their emotions. -.-

Deidara: Isn't this chapter over?

Sasori: Yep.

Kisame: Do we say good bye?

Itachi: Guess so.

Everyone(Except Pein, Konan, Kazumi, & Kakuzu who are on their honeymoons): Bye readers! See ya next chapter!

* * *

To be continued……

**(too busy being on honeymoon in Germany with Kakuzu to type a lot)** Keep asking questions to your delight!

Woo! I'm finally with the guy I love!


	10. CH8: Once Gone, Now Back!

Kazumi: Eh heh…. Sorry for being gone sooooo long. I had been grounded and yeah….. **(sweat drops)**

Now let's begin with the first review of this story!

Everyone Else: Finally!!! DX

Kazumi: Eh heh…. **(sweat drops)**

* * *

From GaaGaa4NarutoGuys:

XD Deidara, you are awesome! ... O_o, message recieved Itachi...Aww man! I wish people didn't have to ask Sakura questions... (pouts) Not fair... But the good thing is... I can wait until people are finished with her. (evil grin)Okay, my friend told me to ask... oh god... Tobi: what do you think of Konan-chan?Well that's it for now... Oh wait, no. Here's a question for Deidara: Do you like cookies and if so, what kind? XD!Now that's it, lolz.

* * *

Deidara: Thanks. XD

Itachi: Good…

Sasori: **(evil grin)**

Tobi: Tobi thinks Konan-chan is nice!

Konan: Thanks Tobi. **(smiles softly)**

Deidara: Double chocolate chip with peanut butter!

Kazumi: Hmm…. Next!

* * *

From A Crazed sue:

Tobi(shoots some cookies him)IrukaHey..you and Kabuto are handcuffed to a reviewer. Must be having fun.

* * *

Tobi: Yay! **(catches the said cookies and starts munching on them)**

Iruka: I can't tell. I've just been napping the whole time lately. **(sweat drops)**

Chuugo: That explains the snoring. XD

Iruka: Eh heh…. **(sweat drops again)**

* * *

From Bleh:

(shoots Itachi with a chibiray gun but it turned out he transformed into Zac Efron instead.)Oops..wrong gun. I don't even like I dare you to chase Naruto with a chainsaw?

* * *

Itachi: Turn me back!! Before I kill myself!

Kazumi: **(zaps Itachi with regular ray gun)**

Itachi: Thanks.

Kazumi: Bitte.

Itachi: Huh?

Kazumi: Bitte.

Itachi: What is that supposed to mean? I'm not bitter.

Kazumi: Bitte you moron, not bitter. It means your welcome in German but that's only one definition.

Itachi: Oh… **(sweat drops)**

Tobi: But where is Tobi gonna find one?

Kazumi: Here, borrow mine. XD **(hands Tobi a chainsaw)**

Tobi: Oooo! **(starts chasing Naruto, the chainsaw buzzing and screeching loudly)**

Naruto: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! BELIEVE IT!!!! **(runs away)**

Chuugo: Wow, he says that even when he's screaming.

Kazumi: Yeah, believe it.

Chuugo: Oh now you're just being a dork.

Kazumi: XP

* * *

From Sonar:

EbisuNow that is seriously a weird has their weird dreams once in a has scarred you for life?Worst food you ever tasted?(is trying to figure who handcuffed her to Iruka and Kabuto)Iruka: Don't ask : Calida Haruda handcuffed usSonar: Figures. She really likes to torment Iruka in another : Wh--what?Sonar: Long story but if she shows up again...Kabuto: She will get what is : If anyone has a pin or something, we can try to unlock the : Admit that you love : --blush--Iruka: Leave her : Make : She's not going with an enemy of the leaf : She's her own : DON'T START!Iruka & Kabuto: : Anyways, after we get free, I dare Kabuto to wear a evening gown and high heels and I dare Iruka to dress in a tuxedo with his hair down for two chapters. (gets some strange looks at her)KabutoYes, that dream I mentioned last chapter is even in my , I don't have any questions for you this time. 't blame you. Who wouldn't feel awkward about being glued to someone? Heh..he did get us good. (smirk and blush)(finds a pin on the floor) Ha! Found a pin. Who wants to use it first on the cuffs?What have you done once to teach a student a lesson?How about you react to kids having abusive parents?(uses the pin and starts at Kabuto's cuffs though Iruka nearly headbutted Kabuto when Sonar had to move her arm.) Sorry about that.(gets Kabuto free of the handcuffs and seems to hand the pin to Iruka but she intentionally knocks him : Oh no you don't!Iruka gets on top of her and blushes a : Are you guys going to get a room?Iruka & Sonar: What? Kabuto: She's and Kabuto glare at each other as Sonar sighs. Iruka pulls Sonar up and forgetting that he is handcuffed, Kabuto and Iruka get into afight and somehow Sonar gets sent into : Ow!Iruka (is taken offguard) Oh right. I forgot you were handcuffed to : --heated blush- It's..all : Why don't you two just get married?Naruto runs by and sticks a "Iruka's clueless" sign on Iruka's back which was not : Get back here Naruto!Naruto sticks his tongue out while he was running. Iruka holds her back with his free arm causing the two to nearly : The prankster strikes again. (anime sweatdrop and blushes*)She turns to face Iruka as he holds the pin in his : If it isn't one thing, it's : Might as well get : I (blushes): You're enjoying this aren't you?Sonar blushes and it was all that had to be said. Iruka & Sonar: Something is going on both realized they talked at the same time and Sonar : Tell me about moves his hand down and puts the pin in when Kabuto shows up and somehow manages to start a fight. Sasuke walks back and just hits him where the sun don't : That had to : No says nothing as he gets the handcuffs off both his and Sonar's : Hold on : Hmm?Sonar: I got an idea. Can I have those?(takes the handcuffs from Iruka and hands them to Kakashi before going back to Iruka to try and relax)KakashiI dare you to handcuff Naruto to Ino.(is grabbed by Kabuto who is hit by a kunai thanks to Iruka)DeidaraHave people ever called you Daria or Dora the explorer? (I can't remember if I asked the question before or not)Shino, Ebisu, Sasuke, Itachi, Deidara, Tsunade Sakura & NejiI dare you to torment Naruto by any means necessary. He won't stop pranking me & Iruka.(gives Shino a stuffed ladybug)ShikamaruWhat do you like or hate about your family?What scares you about your mom?LeeI dare you to be mean for one dare you to beat up HidanPeinI dare you to torment Kabuto.

* * *

Kazumi: O.O I don't know what is happening to the text she sent but please understand it's hard to get these things right.

Ebisu: That said dream. **(shudders)**

Accidently eating rotten squid. **(turns slightly green)**

Chuugo: Ooo! Is he turning to the incredible Hulk?

Kazumi: Nah, I think he's just getting sick.

Ebisu: Blarg! **(throws up in a bucket)**

Everyone Else: Ew…

Kabuto: Eh, it's ok.

Iruka: Naruto I taught him by bribing him with ramen. **(sweat drops)**

I would be enraged if a student of mine had abusive parents and would immediately stop it, even by force.

Kazumi: How noble.

Chuugo: Cha. XD

Iruka: **(blushes)**

Kakashi: Will do. **(does as dared)**

Naruto & Ino: AH NO!

Everyone Else: Lol.

Deidara: Yeah, either it was you who asked or someone else… I forget. Oh well. **(shrugs)**

I deal with people who call me those names by blowing them up. XD

Shino, Ebisu, Sasuke, Itachi, Deidara, Tsunade Sakura & Neji: Kay. **(all look at Naruto, grinning evilly)**

Naruto: **(trembles, wide eyed.)**

Ino: **(trembles as well because she's handcuffed to Naruto)**

Lee: But it is unyouthful!

Kazumi: So?

Lee: But it is not in my nature!

Kazumi: So?

Lee:….. You're good… very good.

Kazumi: I know. XD

Assuma: How am I going to do that? I'm dead!

Hidan: Ha ha!

Pein: Hmm….

Kabuto: WUH!?

Kazumi & Chuugo: Lol.

Pein: **(locked Kabuto in a room full of little children hyper on sugar)**

Little Hyper Kids: Look at the funny glasses man! Let's play dodge ball with him! **(all grin evilly)**

Kabuto: Oh… shit…! O.O

Kazumi: Ha!

* * *

From DesertsDemon:

im really Gaara-kun's fangirl XD i just Itachi b.c he kicks ass :D Hidan y cant u die .__. sasori y did u turn ur self into a doll .

* * *

Itachi: I know I kick ass. **(smirks)**

Hidan: Because my sacrifices make the Almighty Jashin happy and he keeps me immortal.

Sasori: So I can live forever as one of my beloved art.

* * *

From Amaya The Jashinist:

From Amaya Tsukiyomi: Must kill Hidan haters!Hidan: Imma KILL you Hidan haters! Jashin will smite you all! By the way im not a fangirl, just a fellow Jashinist. You fucking rock!Asuma: -sets on fire- Burn baby burn!Shikamaru: you fucking buried Hidan! -sets on fire- Imma burn your soon to be dead ass! Mwahahaha!Deidara: Art is a fucking Bang!Sasori: Let me help you kill Sakura!Tobi: Pocky for you! -gives pocky-Kazumi: Hope you'll have a happy marriage. :DZetsu: You rock! You'll never die cause you get the crappy missions!

* * *

Hidan: Damn right and thanks!

Assuma: **(is a ghost)** Man, you Jashinists are vicious.

Hidan: Believe it you douche bag.

Kazumi: Agh! Hidan just sounded like Naruto for a moment!

Hidan: AUUUGH!! IT BURNS!! **(rolls around, squirming in agony)**

Chuugo: Didn't see that coming…O.O

Shikamaru: **(voids)** What a drag. =.=

Deidara: I love it when fans say that. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. XD

Sasori: Kay. It'll make it more interesting.

Sakura (thinking): Oh god. **(gulps)**

Tobi: Yay! **(munches on pocky)**

Kazumi: Thanks. **(blushes hard)**

Kakuzu: **(chuckles, wrapping arms around Kazumi's waist)**

Kazumi: Hmph… **(blushes harder)**

Zetsu BH & WH: Thanks…. I think… O.o

* * *

From XxHell's HoundxX:

-walks into the room by walking on the ceiling- Hi Everyone. -looses concentration for a second and falls from the ceiling on top of Hidan- Ow I feel as if I landed on someone...HAY! It's Hidan! -glomps him another person walks in behind her- Hi people...Hey Willow how many fucking times have I told you Hidan is fucking mine!Willow: Ah don't hurt me Widow! O.O -Runs and hides behind Zetsu- Zetsu save me from her! : Fucking whimp...-.- -coughs- Well anyways to questions and comments...Sasori: I have lost all respect for you because you lost to : -Blushes ever so slightly- Um never mind...Itachi: You I just don't like you...Deidara: I feel like torturing you...-Lets her friend Kedichi in-Kedichi: E! -Ear splitting scream she runs over and glomps Dei and wont let go-Willow: Oh Oh My turn! 8DWidow: -sighs- Fine..-.-Willow: Yay! XD -Glomps Zetsu-Zetsu: Your my fav! X3Kakuzu: Your cool! :3Tobi: Your a little : Your awesome girl! XDKazumi: Your cool : You scare me...O_OKisame: How are you?Hidan: Sorry for falling on you earlier...Don't hurt me! -Hides behind Zetsu again- My sister Widow likes you...a lot! Kind of obvioud from earlier right? -laughs nervously-Willow: Bye for now! -runs from room-Widow: -sighs- I better go after her before Orochimaru tries to go after her again...-_- I swear if he even touches my sister annoying as she is I'll kill him -follows Willow calmly-

* * *

Hidan: O…kay…O.o

Sasori: Oh yeah? Fuck you too. =.=

Hidan: **(raises a brow)**

Itachi: The feeling is mutual. =.=

Deidara: AUUUGH,UN!! Can't…..breathe… **(faints)** Xo\\\)

Zetsu Both Sides; Thanks. **(grins)**

Kakuzu: Mhmm. **(smirks in triumph)**

Tobi: Aw… but Tobi is a good boy. **(bows head sadly)**

Konan: Thanks. XD

Kazumi: YAY! **(throws fists in air in victory)**

Pein: That's what I was going to say…. =.=

Hidan: Hmmm… **(grins)** Cool.

Kazumi: Ooh, you can borrow my flamethrower! (hands Widow the said item)

* * *

From Akane Miyori:

hey guys & girls! ^,..^ this my first time doing this, but if you try to hurt me i'll you back for it. *evil laugh*-Itachi: are you really going blind? and if you need a bit of help killing Sasuke,call me i'll help.-Hidan: your so cool! ur my F*ing idol! ^,..^(i'm not a fangirl)-Kakuzu: i dare you to steal something belonging to Diedara and sell it on e-bay.-Sasori: i agree with you, art is eternal.(hugs)-Tobi, stop being so damn nice! it's sickening! ,..that's all...for now. P.S. can i join, im good at physical,mental,and emotional turture.

* * *

Itachi: It's true… **(sighs sadly)**

Thanks. **(smirks)**

Hidan: Cool, I'm a fucking idol. XD

Kakuzu: I do that on a regular basis.

Deidara: HEY!

Kakuzu: Oop. **(runs and hides)**

Deidara: Get back here! **(chases after him)**

Kazumi: Sometimes I wonder how men actually survive.=.=

Konan & Chuugo: Same. =.=

Sasori: Thanks. **(smiles)**

Tobi: Aw… **(sniffles)**

Kazumi: Poor Tobi.

Chuugo: Sure but please don't be so rough on Tobi.

Kazumi: **(hands Akane a cloak and ring)**

* * *

From Malia Kibuta:

Ebisu(glomps him)Scariest jutsu?Ever have a jutsu backfire on you?Is it true that Anko is scary?IbikiI dare you and Anko to stare each other dare you to sing loudly in Kakashi's ear.I dare you to tackle Ebisu and make him run 100 laps around dare you to watch every episode of Ergo do you think likes the sound of their own voice?

* * *

Ebisu: **(glomped, blushing slightly)**

I'd say Orochimaru's snake summoning jutsu.

Those things get freakin' huge!

Yeah, once, during a C-rank mission.

Yes, Anko is absolutely horrifying. **(shivers at the death glare given by Anko)**

Ibiki: Kay. We do that a lot.

**(Ibiki and Anko get into a staring contest)**

Gai: Okay!

Kakashi: **(punches Gai's lights out)**

Gai: **(K.O.'D)** XoX

Ebisu: Phew. Thanks Kakashi.

Kakashi: Huh? I was just did that so he wouldn't sing but your welcome anyway. **(goes back to reading Icha Icha)**

Itachi: Never heard of it and no.

Iruka: Itachi because he thinks he's perfect.

Itachi: But I am.

Iruka: **(sweat drops)**

* * *

From Calida Haruda:

(finds herself married to Tobi because of some dare from chapter 9)KonanI dare you to annoy dare you to scare dare you to let Ino give you a make over (evil grin)InoI dare you to use the mind transfer jutsu on Naruto and get him in trouble.

* * *

Tobi: Ooooo! Tobi don't know how to react to this.

Konan: **(repeatedly pokes Kidomaru until he gets angry and walks away)**

Kidomaru:** (annoyed and angry)** Fine.

**(throws Iruka off a cliff)**

Iruka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!

**(suddenly web is shot out, making a net that catches Iruka, preventing Iruka's doom)**

Iruka: Phew. Thank you Spider-Man.

Spider-man: **(hanging from a tree)** Everyone gets one. =.=

Kazumi: O.O

Chuugo: Wow, just like on Family Guy. XD

Genma: Er… She's busy running for her life with Naruto. **(points at the two teens running away, screaming as the people dared to torture them attacks them)**

Ino: A **(huff)** busy! **(huff) (runs like hell)**

* * *

From Minuit-Glace:

Hey all -hands out cookies- This is my first time but if you laugh I can quite easily kick you all in the nuts Hidan - You may be one of the slowest attackers in the group but you have the best powers ^^ Where do I sign up to be a Jashinist?Deidara - Just to let you know you have the best hair =3 it's really uber awsome, that and I do really love your art. Though I am disapointed in your attacking Gaara -shakes head-Gaara - -hands a big bag of cookies-Sasori - Are you aware that your eyes make you look like you're on drugs? And are you some how related to Gaara?Zetsu - How do you like being a plant person? -Gives a bag of body parts- Eat up ^^Tobi - You're so cute

* * *

Everyone: O.O

Kazumi: Good thing I'm a girl. XD

Every Girl: Yep. XD

Hidan: Right here! **(holds out a pen and Jashinist contract)**

Kazumi: =.=

Chuugo: =.=

Kakuzu: =.=

Deidara: Thanks. I like my hair too.

Hey, don't blame me. Blame Pein. He's the one who made me do it.

Pein: Hey! Don't blame me!

Kazumi: No body blame anybody or I'll bring Wrath in and let her eat your guys' damn brains!

Everyone Else: Yes ma'am. O.O

Gaara: Thanks. X3

Sasori: Didn't know that…. And no! For the last time! We're not related! **(left eye twitches)**

Zetsu WH: It has it's interesting moments.

Zetsu BH: Thanks. **(both begin munching on the dead bodies)**

Kazumi: e.o Damn messy eater.

Zetsu Both Sides: Sorry. **(sweat drops)**

Tobi: Yay! Tobi's cute!

Kazumi: Well that's it!

Chuugo: Bye everyone!

Kazumi: See you next chapter!

* * *

**Okay! Sorry again for updating so lat! I was grounded and stuff! Wrath is an OC I created that is in my new story. Lol. Ironically it's a Spider-Man story. XD See ya next time! **


End file.
